Drop the can vs. kegs debate

To the Editor:

As every avid Herald reader knows, an ongoing campus debate exists at Brown over whether or not the University should allow kegs back on campus after a long hiatus.

I personally do not understand what this brou-ha-ha is all about. When I go out I don't care whether I am doing keg stands, shotgunning beers, funneling Miller High Life, nursing the finest bottle of Popov that money can buy or just having box wine intravenously fed into my bloodstream. In other words, I just want to get toasted, tossed up, blitzed, three sheets to the wind, crunked up, blackout, sloppy, sloshed, saucy, borracho, ubriaco, pissed; in short, just completely and utterly royally F'd. Kegs or cans, it doesn't matter; after six beers even the woman from What's Eating Gilbert Grape starts to look attractive.

Nevertheless, I am a conscientious Brown student. I am fully aware of the argument that kegs are potentially better for the environment. However, do I really care about saving the rainforest when I am doing body shots of Manischewitz off some hot Jewish dame that I met at the last Class F AEPi party? I don't think so. I am thinking about making sure that my yarmulke is on tight. So, in conclusion, the whole kegs and cans debate is pretty stupid.

Zachary Aarons '05 March 8