Get Herald RSSBack in May, the Supreme Court of California ruled that same-sex couples have the right to marry. This set off celebrations throughout San Francisco and a boom in the industry for wedding cakes with two little men on top. Proposition 8 was proposed (obviously) in response to this, and it sought to restrict the definition of marriage to a union "between a man and a woman" in California's state constitution. The proposition passed with 52.3 percent of the vote, forcing hundreds of wedding supply stores to throw out their wedding cakes with two little men on top.
Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (read: Mormons) were among the largest financial supporters of Proposition 8. This is a natural constituency for a ban on gay marriage, as nothing threatens a marriage with multiple wives more than a marriage with no wives.
Opposition to the bill was led by Equality for All, an organization that strongly supports gay rights and the right of babies to drive motorcycles. President-elect Barack Obama also opposed the bill, explaining that while he considers marriage to be between a man and a woman, he really doesn't want to alienate his constituents.
I have thus far remained neutral on the issue, but in the following paragraphs I will explain why the passage of this bill is vital to the strength of our country. In order to see this truth, we must not focus narrowly on questions of "human rights and freedoms." We are completely ignoring the all-too-often-forgotten issue of national security.
We have many objectives in the ongoing clash of civilizations that is our battle against Islamofacism. One of our most important tasks is to win the hearts and minds of our enemies. That is a reconciliatory goal that even Keith Olbermann can support. And, what better way to win the hearts and minds of religious fundamentalists than to show our commitment to a domestic policy of religious extremism?
The terrorists are intent on destroying our liberal democracy, but if we can show them that we aren't committed to the whole liberal thing, we can find some common ground.
The issue of gay rights is the perfect platform from which to launch our illiberal revolution - Islamists hate homosexuality so much that Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad denied that homosexuals exist in Iran. Strangely, Ayatollah Khomeini once issued a fatwa supporting the right to sex-change operations, but that's not important (sort of an LGBT, hold the LGB).
We often forget that Christianity and Islam have many common traditions and beliefs. What can Mormons, Protestants, Catholics, Shiites and Sunnis all agree on? That God shalt rend apart the heavens and rain fire and brimstone upon the Sodomites. Also that she who looks back shall be turned into a pillar of salt.
The dual message of Sodom and Gomorrah is clear: homosexuality incurs the wrath of God, and don't eat salt because it might be somebody's mother. Why are we fighting Islamists when a much more dangerous common enemy is well established on both coastlines, and completely controls Provincetown, Massachusetts?
Proposition 8 is a great way to show the terrorists that we are committed to the fight against gay rights, even in the lawless gay tribal areas of California.
Beyond that, we have proved that "liberal" and "democracy" are easily separable. We have delivered a much more palatable message of democracy, one that can spread among the most die-hard extremists: You can use democracy to suppress human rights! You don't think women should drive cars? Vote it into law!
It is said that a democracy of cannibals produces a government of cannibals. With Proposition 8 we have demonstrated our solidarity with the Islamists and proved that democracy can bring about a religiously driven system of oppression.
Let the message of democracy ring out from the madrasahs in Pakistan to the caves in Tora Bora. Let its majesty shine brightly from the barrels of Kalashnikovs and Stinger missile launchers. We must join hands with our Islamic brothers (platonically, of course), shake off the antiquated notion of rights and embrace the ancient notion of antipathy towards homosexuals.
We cannot let our hate divide us. We must let it unite us.
Sam Loomis '10 is a conservative trapped in a liberal's body.
