Diamonds and Coal

Diamonds & Coal, April 12

A diamond to Kal Penn, actor and former White House associate director of public engagement, who told students gathered in Salomon 101 Wednesday night to “just bone diversely” as a way of promoting cross-cultural understanding. Looks like he found us a way to work activism into our resumes.

Coal to writer Amitav Ghosh, who said, “The critical paradox of life is most of us don’t really know how miserable we are.” But apparently the Princeton Review does – thanks for rubbing in our drop from first to third happiest students in their latest rankings.

A diamond to President-elect Christina Paxson, who is “open to drinking a beer every now and then,” according to a colleague at Princeton. Paxson, if you aren’t busy next week, here’s a standing invite to The Herald’s Spring Weekend festivities.

Cubic zirconia to the student who said of the Watson Institute for International Studies’ next director, “We want someone who will stick around.” We agree, but will that someone also cuddle and hold hands?

Coal to the student who said of the John Carter Brown Library, “The JCB is something that a lot of people don’t use.” Really? We saw it got five stars on Yelp.com – they said the music wasn’t too loud, and the beer was super cheap. … Wait, so that’s not where our senior friends keep going on Thursday nights?

A diamond to the three researchers who went to various baseball stadiums to survey fans about their views on revenge in baseball. Did they also survey the effects of stadium hot dogs and beer on baseball researchers? And how do we get that job?

Cubic zirconia to the UCS presidential candidate who suggested having the  Brown Band camp outside Provost Mark Schlissel’s P’15 office to promote fundraising for the student activities endowment. Great idea – just check YouTube to see how that played out in the CIT last semester.

A diamond to the senior who included human hair, among other elements, in the paintings in her senior thesis exhibition. Hair is “a little bit revolting, but we all have it,” she said. In the interest of all things revolting, we suggest an even bolder rendering – a life-size Stonehenge made entirely of toenails.

Cubic zirconia to the student who said, “Part of being educated is knowing why you have the education that you have.” He should look out for Banner’s latest gem – MCM 1111: “Meta-cation and the American College Student.”

A diamond to actress Laura Linney ’86, who said that as an undergrad she “of course” read The Herald. We have no snark: You’re just a class act.