A diamond to federal agencies that, with the prospect of the sequestration looming, “are just holding off until they know what’s going to happen,” according to Beppie Huidekoper, executive vice president for finance and administration. It’s reassuring to know they approach national policy the same way we approached managing coursework during Winter Storm Nemo.

Cubic zirconia to Associate Dean of the College Ann Gaylin, who recommended students “take a dessert class,” adding that “it has no calories. It is so juicy and delicious-looking you can’t resist it.” We’d rather put our course load on a diet by dropping organic chemistry.

Coal to the Barrington High School freshman who said, “Neuroscience has been something that’s sort of not what people study.” Unfortunately, our professor realized this after our first midterm.

A diamond to Allison Abbate ’87, who co-produced “Space Jam.” That is all.

Cubic zirconia to the assistant director of admission and coordinator of Early Admitted Students Day who said, “We wanted to show them that we’re not robots or grumpy old men around a table.” And here we always pictured the admissions process as poker night at a futuristic retirement home.

A diamond to the member of The Bear Necessities, who said “Beyonce could start a revolution” and that “people would take up arms.” Just in case, we’re keeping our army fatigues in a box to the left.

Cubic zirconia to Adjunct Professor of Economics David Wyss who said, as a teacher, “It helps to know what the real world is all about.” Someone once told us it’s what happens when people stop being polite … and start getting real.

A diamond to Mail Services, which will maintain its Saturday hours despite the U.S. Postal Service’s decision to discontinue Saturday deliveries. We think. What’s “mail” again? Is there an app for that?

Coal to the Undergraduate Finance Board member who said of filling the board’s recent opening, “It would be a little difficult to throw someone in who’s not seasoned.” The culinary architects in the Sharpe Refectory seem to have no trouble doing this every time sloppy joe day rolls around.

A Brunonian class ring diamond to the parent of the early-admitted student who said, “Behind the birth of my two children, the day my daughter was accepted was the third happiest day of my life.” Wear it with pride.