Diamonds and Coal

Diamonds and Coal: Sept. 13, 2013

Friday, September 13, 2013

A diamond to Dean of the Faculty Kevin McLaughin P’12, who said of administrative turnover, “to a certain extent it’s part of an organic regeneration of the senior ranks.” That’s why when we cut off Dean of the College Katherine Bergeron’s leg, she just grew a new one!

Coal to the recent alum who said of participating in Teach for America, “How I’m feeling right now, to be honest, it is extremely hard.” Oh, stop bragging.

A diamond to Professor of History of Art and Architecture Dietrich Neumann, who said the windows of the Perry and Marty Granoff Center for the Creative Arts give the structure the appearance that its “skin has been pulled together to let you look in.” We never knew Granoff had so much in common with Michael Jackson’s face.

Cubic zirconia to the senior who said, “A lot of cultural events are often centered around food.” A lot of … all of the events we attend are centered around food.

Coal to Stephen Pierson ’98, candidate for the Brooklyn City Council, who said he decided to pursue a political career because he “didn’t want to be one of those people that just sits around and complains.” But whyyyyyyyyy.

Cubic zirconia to vodka expert Patricia Herlihy, professor emerita of history, who said, “I see vodka as a prism through which I can look at the economy, society and politics of a country.” Careful — we’ve discovered it’s a prism that makes everything funnier and more attractive.

Cubic zirconia to the medical student who said, “real world medicine is more of a delicate dance between doctor and patient.” Stay tuned for Block Island Medical Center’s staff performance of Swan Lake.

Coal to TWC Assistant Director Shane Lloyd MPH ’11, who said of the center’s likely renaming,“Whatever the community thinks the name should be, I think that should be what it is.” Be warned — that’s how our little brother got the name CaptainSuperMcAwesomeFace.

Cubic zirconia to “Streetcar Named Desire” director Lowry Marshall, professor of theater, speech and dance, who said, “On one level, it’s about three people living together between two rooms — the too-closeness, the claustrophobia and invasion of privacy.” The play will be shown in first-year dorms.

A diamond to Russell Carey ’91 MA’06 for pointing out that on our urban campus, “we’re not in a remote rural area ­— we’re not behind a wall.” But we are IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTION.