Coal to the BCA member who said of Chance the Rapper, “His social media presence is amazing.” That’s great, but we’re not going to be on Twitter during Spring Weekend.
A diamond to the male undergraduate who said of the baseball team’s improvement in a loss to the South Carolina Gamecocks, “the more you do it, the better you get.” What a great team to test that theory on.
Coal to the Aga Khan who said, “Everybody makes mistakes — never regret them, but correct them.” The Herald regrets his error.
A diamond to the president of the Rhode Island Museum of Science and Art, who said its mission is to “kindle curiosity and encourage experimentation.” We thought that’s what sex ed was for.
A diamond to the “sharrow” road markings — arrows indicating shared space for motorists and bicyclists to be painted on Thayer Street. We hope the updated Rhode Island drivers’ manual teaches new drivers that sharrow-ing is caring.
Coal to Technology House, which has two permanently locked rooms in its basement, one that stores the pieces to the infamous SciLi Tetris game, and another which leads to an underground tunnel. Perhaps they can hack their way through those locks.
Cubic zirconia to Jackie O’Neill, university marshal at Harvard, who said the school’s 375th anniversary event was “like Woodstock in the Yard.” Who can forget that classic 600-pound cake in the shape of Jimi Hendrix?
Coal to Jack Dorsey, Twitter and Square co-founder, who said of his ventures, “A good tool not only does its job — it gives people joy.” That’s why we love our vibrators.
Coal to Daniel Beyers ’08, who said his artistic vision works toward “bringing these images back and causing people to have a stake in some of these beautiful, fringed places.” It sounds like some weird mohair carpet fetish, but we’re into it.
Coal to the Italian studies conference last weekend entitled “Memories: Tradition and Revision, Amnesia and Retrieval.” Accurate description of our Friday night at Colosseum.
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