SWANSEA, Mass. - It was an evening of songs, laughs and a stripping stand-in for President Ruth Simmons at the Providence Newspaper Guild's Follies '05, held Feb. 24 at the Venus de Milo Restaurant in Swansea, Mass.
The musical comedy revue of Rhode Island news and politics, now in its 33rd year, is written, produced and performed annually by the union representing employees of the Providence Journal. Rhode Island is not very big, so just about every Ocean State politico, large and small, was among the 1,200 guests. Before the show began, the attendees enjoyed drinks, a rich buffet and a brief awards ceremony.
Among those honored by the Guild was Luis Pagan '06, who drowned after disappearing off the coast of Mexico Jan. 12. Only 22 years old at the time of his death, Providence-raised Pagan was posthumously awarded one of two John Kiffney Awards for his accomplishments as a community activist, notably his work with Youth in Action, for which he helped start an HIV-prevention program that reached thousands, according to the event program.
The tone of the remainder of the evening was lighthearted but sharp, with few notables escaping unharmed - as the final song declared, it was a time for "tasteless jokes and off-key singing." A stand-in for Lt. Gov. Charles Fogarty appeared on stage and used a cloth to shine his famously large, bald head. Rep. Jim Langevin, D-R.I., who is confined to a wheelchair, was said by one emcee to be "the only Rhode Island politician we know isn't playing golf with a lobbyist" on Congressional junkets.
The sharpest and most frequent barbs were reserved, though, for Gov. Don Carcieri '65, who snubbed the Guild by not attending the dinner. That may not have been such a bad idea, since much of the show was devoted to making fun of him, including a remark by Journal writer and emcee Scott MacKay that Rhode Island has lost 6,000 manufacturing jobs but gained 5,000 slot machines under Carcieri.
Of special delight to the Journal reporters was the brief scandal in November when Democratic consultant Guy Dufault referred to Carcieri's "comattas" - Italian slang for mistresses - during a sound check on a local television show which was then accidentally broadcast.
"I'm Lady Comatta, State House at my feet. I'm the girl that politicians want to meet," sang a Journal reporter in a slinky dress to the tune of "Lady Madonna" by the Beatles. Another reporter, dressed as an enormous blue zipper, sang to the tune of Devo's "Whip It" that when "a comatta comes along, you must zip it. Though it feels so wrong, you must zip it."
Many of the songs required more than a passing familiarity with Rhode Island politics to fully appreciate, but several shone on their own.
One memorable moment was the sight of Senior Lecturer in Theatre, Speech and Dance Barbara Tannenbaum dancing around on stage dressed as an enormous lit marijuana joint during a song about Rhode Island's recent legalization of medical marijuana.
"I can smoke freely now, the law has changed," sang a line of Journal writers in medical gowns to the tune of "I Can See Clearly Now" by Johnny Nash. "General Assembly now says it's okay to get high, high, high in a medical way," they crooned.
Another delightful moment came when Journal writer Talia Buford stood in for President Ruth Simmons and sang to the tune of Diana Ross's "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" about the airing of a tape on Fox News from Queer Alliance's Sex Power God party last semester.
"Ain't no party wild enough, ain't no co-ed drunk enough, ain't no student high enough, can flunk out of this Ivy Leaguer," sang "Simmons." "Oh, ain't no cocktail strong enough, ain't no costume low enough, ain't no party wild enough to sully our proud reputation."
Surrounded by dancing "students" in bikini body suits, Buford stripped off her own academic robes midway through the song to reveal a similar bikini body suit.
Each year, the Follies presents a "mystery guest" who performs at the end of the show. Journal political columnist and former Herald editor M. Charles Bakst '66 has called it a performance which "demonstrates a flicker of insight, fallibility and good sportsmanship" to much of the state's press corp. Past appearances have been made by a skirt-wearing then-Attorney General Sheldon Whitehouse in 1999 and a sailor suit-clad Rep. Patrick Kennedy, D-R.I., in 2001.
This year there were two mystery guests. Speaker of the House William Murphy conducted his own "Rhode Island Idol" show on stage to mock, among others, House Minority Leader Robert Watson for behaving like "a rooster on acid." He was joined by Senate President Joseph Montalbano, who sang an off-key song based on the Beatles' "When I'm 64" until he forgot his lines halfway through the song.
Proceeds from the event went to support the Guild's scholarship fund.
