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Diamonds and Coal

Diamonds and Coal, 11/13/09

Friday, November 13, 2009

Coal to UCS, which spent its Wednesday meeting proposing a resolution to make it easier for UCS to pass resolutions. If the meta-resolution passes, all you’ll need for a successful vote is a simple majority — just about the same percentage of Brown students who don’t know what you do (according to a recent Herald poll).

A diamond to the clever math nerds who, The Herald reported this week, call their intramural hockey team “the Eulers,” after the famous mathematical thinker and the NHLers from Edmonton. Nice pun! We Thoreau-ly enjoyed it, Kant think of a better one and were on the Virgil of tears when we heard it. We Gauss what we’re trying to say is: We thought it was pretty Nietzsche. 

Coal to the ingenious Machado resident who hid two $20 bills in her laptop, where no burglars would ever think to look for something valuable. But a lucky diamond to the cash-hungry Machado thief who spied the bills and ended up with a computer, too.

A cubic zirconium to Gov. Donald Carcieri ’65, who gave his veto pen a workout this week, nixing bills that would let Rhode Islanders claim the remains of a deceased domestic partner, head to a “compassion center” when they need medical marijuana or vote in a special election to fill a vacant Senate seat. We know you’re just exercising your constitutional authority, but come on — you just ruined the week of every elderly, gay, aspiring congressman with glaucoma in the state.

Coal to the Institutional Review Board, which is trying to make it easier for undergrads to get approval for research projects involving “experiments” on “human subjects.” It’s already hard enough to tell the difference between legitimate scientific inquiry and bad pickup lines — do we really want more math geeks studying how to lie tangent to your curves?

A diamond to Professor of Africana Studies and world-renowned writer Chinua Achebe, who was welcomed to campus Tuesday with a conversation about his work in Salomon 101. Don’t worry, Professor Achebe, they made all of us sit through a book discussion when we first got here, too.

to the fact that the field hockey team didn’t manage a win in the Ivy League this season. It’s a confusing result, given how much more time than many of our Ivy counterparts the typical Brown student spends on grass.

And a cubic zirconium to the students who took mallets to a replica of the Berlin Wall this week on the Main Green. We appreciate the sentiment, but did the rift between Quiet Green snugglers and Lincoln Field Frisbee-throwers really need breaching? Next anniversary, please, spare Brown this wall.

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