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Diamonds and Coal

Diamonds and Coal, 1/29

Friday, January 29, 2010

Coal to Ken Miller ’70 P’02 for being named to the Committee for Skeptical Inquiry. How can we even be sure he was appointed?

A diamond to the Admission Office for placing excess applications in Alumnae Hall. We suppose this was just payback for the day after Sex Power God, when the organizers stashed all the excess lube in the Admission Office.

5.2 billion diamonds to new Bank of America CEO Brian Moynihan ’81. Wait, you lost them already?

Coal to Erroll Southers ’78 for withdrawing his name for Transportation Security Administration head. We would have dropped out, too, given the prospect of seeing all those horrifying full-body scans.

to President Simmons for giving Brown a “shout-out” at the BET Honors. When you go to your meeting at the Smithsonian, don’t forget to give us a whisper-out.

And one more diamond to Ruth for doing what our other president couldn’t do — sign a climate bill.

to Providence Fire Capt. Russ McDonald, who said people at Brown “don’t know how to cook.” Yeah, but I bet we could work the fire pole better than you.

to Professor Erik Ehn for comparing the graduate playwriting program’s move to “putting the chickens closer to the feed.” Too bad the students are still one MFA away from being starving artists.

to the student who wasn’t worried about Faunce Arch’s closing because “kvetching is kind of pointless.” Oy, we’re glad you’re not plotzing over this meshuga. It takes a lot of chutzpah to make us schlep to class.

to the state Republican candidates who said they were “ready to fight” in the elections. That’s good, because Democrat Chris Young is driving around on non-federal highways ready to throw some DVDs at you.

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