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Diamonds and Coal

Diamonds and Coal

Friday, March 19, 2010

A diamond to the money that will be saved from tableslip elimination after spring break. Maybe we’ll have enough for Cancun by the time the next break rolls around.

A diamond to the Corporation for deciding to seal its minutes for just 25 years. We’re looking forward to learning the truth about Hot Ham on Bulky Roll 25 years sooner.

A diamond to the Statehouse for proposing the RISD police be named “peace officers.” We know they’re hipsters, they know they’re hipsters. It is so not a big deal.

to the robbery of “screws” from the Sciences Library. The SciLi was already missing a screw. No need to rub it in.

to the East Side neighbor for whom pool construction “means our summer is ruined.” We always liked the chance to cool off when things got too hot.

to the University for seeking “funding for the ‘four F’s.’ ” No … One of the F’s is not FishCo, even on St. Patrick’s Day.

A diamond to attempts to “stimulate” a kink-based conversation. After female orgasms got us excited, Sex Week was a great finish.

A diamond to the Brown University Mediation Project, “the best-kept secret at Brown.” After Sex Week, there’s sure to be a lot more BUMPing and grinding on campus.

Softball diamonds for pitching a perfect game on Sunday!

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