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Diamonds and Coal

Diamonds and Coal

Thursday, April 22, 2010

A diamond to Diane Mokoro ’11, vice president of the Undergraduate Council of Students and a candidate for next year’s president, for calling her council a “hydra-type, many-headed monster.” Perhaps when one prefrosh wrote that he hoped to concentrate in the “Defense against the Dark Arts,” he actually meant he hoped to one day serve on UCS.

l to the 12-year-old girl who made her parents drive four hours round-trip to hear author Tamora Pierce. Unless you’re the same kid who sells Girl Scout Cookies all year long. In which case, om nom nom.

Coal to an alum’s invention of an alarm clock that makes you wake up not tired — but does nothing for your hangover.

A diamond to recent campus speaker Noam Chomsky and his new book, “Hope and Prospects.” Though we wish you could have had more Meetings, it’s comforting to know you still believe in the Power and Benefit of Friendship.

Coal to the student who is concerned that Snoop Dogg doesn’t “rap about things Brown students support.” Brown Concert Agency didn’t know to find someone who raps about Ruth.

A diamond to the Battle of Qadesh. Though the Egyptians and Hittites dueled violently Tuesday afternoon, they proved a couple hours later on the Main Green that everyone can share and get along, too.

Coal to the first person on the Spring Weekend ticket sales line. “I’m used to being No. 1, so it was just another conquest,” he said. If you’re such a winner, how come you didn’t get tickets the first time around either? But a diamond for being the No. 1 douche.

Coal to Banner shutdowns and freshman MyCourses disenfranchisement, though in the face of riot-worthy lines, even the online Spring Weekend ticket sales don’t seem so bad. At least we had access to pajamas and porn during that one.

A diamond to Spring Weekend precautions, like providing “free food for students who might be going on an empty stomach to mitigate any unfavorable results.” Thank you for understanding.

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