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Diamonds and Coal

Diamonds and Coal, Sept. 17

Friday, September 17, 2010

Coal to Ratty frankenfoods “French fusion taco sandwich” and “corn cobbets” — and a grateful diamond to the undergraduate population for removing them from the ecosystem.


Cubic zirconium to Banner for eliminating long lines in U. Hall during shopping period. Because waking up at 8 a.m. to preregister is so much better.


Diamond to Dahlia the dairy cow, who appeared Wednesday on Wriston, for giving fraternity row something wholesome to drink. Gets those cobbets out of your system.


A diamond of encouragement to Marisa Quinn, vice president for public affairs and University relations, who said of social networking, “I’m 46 and don’t know how.” Don’t lie, we’ve seen you liking all of Ruth’s statuses. (P.S. Facebook suggests you should be friends with our mom.)


A diamond of confused admiration to Brown bookkeeper Beppie Huidekoper, who told us, “There are a lot of buildings we are willing to name if you are willing to give X.” That’s a bold move, Beppie, looking for illegal drugs in our pages.


A diamond to Sidney Frank ’42, who knows this University is built on booze money, not party drugs.


Coal to the upstart RISD kids starting the online-only newspaper they’re calling the All-Nighter. Unless we’re mistaken, RISD is already served by an illustrious publication: the College Hill ‘Dependent.


A diamond to people who “don’t smoke but hold a cigarette in their hands and feel better about themselves.” Maybe the diamond will improve their self-esteem.


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