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Diamonds and Coal

Diamonds and Coal, March 18

By
Friday, March 18, 2011

A diamond to the “Year of China,” an initiative inspired by the University’s awareness of the importance of cultural appreciation — and the yuan’s appreciation.

Coal to Spring Weekend act Das Racist. We were hoping for Das Kanye.

Coal to Rhode Island Education Commissioner Deborah Gist, who said, “Right now, the reality is that what is considered to be algebra in Woonsocket may not be the same as the algebra in Westerly.” We’ve heard of cultural relativism, but mathematical relativism is taking things a bit far.

Diamonds to the cities of Pawtucket and Central Falls, which have decided to integrate municipal services in an effort to increase efficiency and decrease cost. It’s nice to see the “friends with benefits” thing catch on beyond College Hill.

A cubic zirconium to the student who said of the new bar Whiskey Republic, “From the looks of it on the outside, it doesn’t look like a venue that’s very conducive to DFMOs: dance floor makeouts” — that’s why there’s MDMA.

A cubic zirconium to the student who said of a program that raises money to fight childhood obesity by betting on March Madness, “There are a lot of people out there that feel uncomfortable gambling with their friends. But if you turn it into a situation where they’re donating to charity, all of a sudden they feel a lot more comfortable and not like they’re dirty while doing it.” That’s all well and good, but instead of gambling, shouldn’t this insight be applied to masturbation?

Coal to Mayor Angel Taveras for recommending the closure of four Providence schools. To make up for the closings, University Hall has bravely decided to open schools of engineering, business, public health and, heck, let’s say law.

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