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Diamonds and Coal

Diamonds and Coal, Sept.16

Friday, September 16, 2011

Coal to U.S. News and World Report for ranking Brown 15th again in its annual college rankings. We’re not saying your methodology is worthless. We’re just saying that “student access to pizza in a cone” should count for at least 15 percent.


A cubic zirconium to Dick Spies, executive vice president for planning and senior adviser to the president, who said renovations to the Sharpe Refectory are “part of the master plan.” Does this mean the next president is going to hail from Gotham City and control Brown from deep within the bowels of the Rat Cave?


A diamond to David Rohde ’90, who was imprisoned by, and then escaped from, the Taliban while reporting for the New York Times and will come to Providence to teach an investigative journalism class in the spring. We admire any man who braves a harsh, unforgiving climate and hostile native population to get a job done. Oh, and the reporting from Afghanistan was cool too.


A cubic zirconium to Rhode Island General Treasurer Gina Raimondo, who testified before the Rhode Island Senate Monday about the state pension system’s “death spiral” and admitted, “I think it’s fair to say that none of us wants to be here right now.” If Lil’ Rhody becomes unbearable, we hear the Afghan government is hiring.


A cubic zirconium to Andrew Yang ’96, whose nonprofit Venture for America helps start-up businesses in the “lower-cost cities” of Detroit, New Orleans and Providence. Yang explained the organization was priced out of Kandahar.


Coal to State Rep. Helio Melo, D-East Providence, who said at a State House hearing Wednesday on the Rhode Island pension crisis that many legislators were learning of the crisis “for the first time.” We covered the Monday hearing. Don’t any of you people read The Herald?


Coal to the student who left her bike outside Emery Hall Aug. 4 and returned to find it stolen Sept. 8. This is Providence. If you left the SciLi unattended for a month, it would go missing.


And a diamond to President Ruth Simmons for what will be 11 years of dedicated service to Brown.

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