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Fuerbacher '14: Knowing my friend’s net worth doesn’t increase mine

Money talks, and BS walks. We have all heard this popular truism expressing the power of someone’s wealth, and frankly, I think it holds true. To this statement I would like to add a corollary — that talking about someone’s money is BS. In The Herald and through conversations with friends at Brown, I cannot count the number of times I have seen or heard speculation about a peer’s net worth or pointed references to someone’s spending habits. This sort of third-party financial profiling is distasteful and pointless. Furthermore, I believe it widens the alleged degree of separation between more privileged students and those of lesser means. Though I have not witnessed such a blatant wedge, this sentiment was evident enough to have framed the April 2012 “Money Matters” series in The Herald. Let’s stop describing someone as “rich” or talking about the color of his or her American Express card. Aside from that person and his or her accountants, you’ll never know the number of dollars to his or her name. And even if you do, knowing that net worth doesn’t increase yours.

Since the 1980s — when television shows such as “Dynasty” and movies like “Wall Street” illustrated personal extravagance and the benefits of having high net worth — Americans’ preoccupation with materialism and status has reportedly grown. Psychology research supports the view that “Millenials,” or people born after 1982, feel attaining monetary and reputational goals bears more consequence than the realization of objectives concerning one’s community. I am not here to pass moral judgment on that phenomenon, as I am admittedly guilty of inordinately elevating my professional aspirations or relishing a self-indulgent trip to the mall — that is, an authentic mall in New Jersey or New York, not the boring shopping center in downtown Providence.

Regardless of what has transpired in terms of how strongly one emphasizes his personal possessions, I believe a more robust interest in others’ material goods and relative affluence has also manifested itself in our society. From Forbes’ annual list of billionaires to websites such as Celebritynetworth, many media outlets exist to satiate this odd desire to know someone else’s net worth. It also permeates conversations about our peers, as I have often heard fellow students attaching a friend’s name to a restrictive clause such as, “and he or she is very wealthy.” For a culture in which we are supposed to judge people on personal rather than financial worth, these tendencies to speculate about income obviate the moral lessons we are taught.

Regardless of the vanity perpetuated by such assessments of people, these exercises are futile. Why should I care about what someone else has? That knowledge does nothing for me in the way of filling my brain with practical or stimulating information. Furthermore, any “estimates” of a friend’s or his family’s riches are round guesses at best. Just because someone lives in a $5 million dollar mansion or drives a Ferrari does not unequivocally signify high net worth or one’s residual assets once creditors’ claims are subtracted. Sure, there are plenty of genuinely wealthy people walking around sporting designer bags and pricey jewelry. But there are just as many people who are flush with cash yet pay for dinner using the mundane green card rather than the slick Centurion for which they are eligible. Accurately trying to pinpoint a person’s net worth based on external appearances and lifestyle anecdotes is like setting a price target for the stock of a company using a rough sketch of the firm’s activities without examining its financial statements.

People should be judged on their accomplishments, character and empathy. Describing friends with traits that enrich their souls rather than their bank accounts is a more captivating way to paint a picture of someone. Doing so pays more homage to a person’s nature and talents. It is easier to foster friendships from shared personality traits than to undermine them on account of perceived financial differences. Moreover, having the right grade point average to obtain a prestigious internship warrants more praise than does the right DNA to secure an impressive inheritance. The process of how a friend made a lucrative trade provides more interesting dinner conversation than the house she could buy with those earnings. Perhaps most ironically, heavy attention paid to another party’s finances is often cultivated by the outsider observers rather than the personal possessors of wealth.

This article is not attacking a fixation with money — I think it is an important element of life, and the profits or commissions one generates often measure success in one’s professional field. Yet if we want to fixate on high net worth, we should focus on ways to grow our own fortunes should financial success be a personal priority. Time is money, but spending time thinking about someone else’s money won’t earn you anything extra.

 

 

Elizabeth Fuerbacher ’14 listened to “The Apprentice” theme song “For the Love of Money” while writing this column. She can be reached at elizabeth_fuerbacher@brown.edu.

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