You realize that you’ve forgotten to throw Love in the trashcan. Love passed its expiry date a year ago but remains stuck to the ceiling of your room because you want to stare at the ceiling and think of Love every night before falling asleep.
When you walk inside the washroom and open your cupboard, your clothes fall onto the floor. You left them in a mess, but you can’t seem to remember why. Your eyelashes flutter, and you remember that Love liked it when you showed up to Diwali parties in your hot pink, round neck Lululemon t-shirt with neon green Nike shorts, liked it when you wore clothes unfit for the occasion—liked it even more when you wore clothes that didn’t match. So you throw the clothes that didn’t fall to the floor down and let them pile up too. It’ll be easier to plan unmatched outfits now. Besides, what does it matter? You cleaned your cupboard then, you’ll clean your cupboard now.
When you take out your Hindi literature textbook from your school bag to read Chapter four, you open to page 147 without realizing it. Love’s initials are more visible than the text on that page; you’ve always had a habit of scribbling too hard, so even months after you erased his initials from the page, faint grey shadows remain.
Your head spins. Your gaze drops to the floor. A yellow card peeks out from behind your cushion. You pick it up and see Love’s cursive handwriting that spells out “HAPPY BDAY,” the A so much slimmer and taller than it should be, slimmer and taller than even the A from ‘Amatic AC.’ Somewhere near the bottom left corner, the paper feels uneven. You had opened the card for the first time right after eating a Snickers bar from the packet Love had bought for you on your birthday. So you decide to go to the mall and buy yourself a packet of Snickers to have while watching Love’s favorite movie, MS Dhoni: The Untold Story.
You see Love at the mall. Love tells you that your hot pink, round neck Lululemon t-shirt looks ridiculous with your neon green Nike shorts. So you tear open the Snickers packet you just bought, open Love’s fist, aggressively shove some into Love’s palm, go back home, and cry and cry some more. So you clean your cupboard again, wear a matching outfit, scribble over Love’s signatures, throw Love’s card in the trash, and delete that movie from your downloaded Netflix films.
But when you go to sleep that night, you realize that Love is still on your ceiling and you are still staring at it.
