- “When they’re rude to waiters. Or waitresses. Or wait-theys.”
- “When people chew with their mouth open.”
- “No one has ever hit on me, so.”
- “He was really short, but I didn’t mind it. He started going on this huge rant about how he hates being short and is insecure about it. And I realized he had a lot of pent-up emotion. This guy hates himself. And I was like, ‘Maybe not.’”
- “I watched a K-pop idol I liked do something stupid.”
- “Someone wasn't organizing [politically] in a way that was meaningful enough, then I got the ick. That’s why I broke up with my previous girlfriend.”
- “It’s not a common emotion for me.” “I feel like it totally is.”
- “When somebody was bad at kissing. They tried to make out with me and there was too much spit involved. They were like, ‘This is good.’”
- “There was this girl who was performing in [performance group] and she was just, like, the hottest girl I’ve ever seen in my entire life and gave me crazy gender envy. The hottest, coolest, lots of gender envy, queer girl. So, I text her after the performance, like, ‘you were so cool the performance was so cool, I’d love to take you out sometime,’ and she was like ‘ahh I have finals, I’m busy, but you should totally join [performance group] next semester,’ and I’m like, ‘ahh yeah yeah I’ll probably join [performance group], it seems really cool and I’ll get to talk to this girl.’ Summer comes, I’m thinking about girl, not thinking about girl. I come back to school and join [performance group]. And I’m like expecting, ‘oh my gosh, I’m going to be in the presence of this very hot, very mysterious girl who I think is so hot,’ whatever.
So. You know when someone’s voice doesn’t match their appearance? She started talking and moving.
It just feels like she’s a chronically online high-schooler, like I was just expecting such a hot and mysterious personality because her whole appearance was this queer-lesbian-hot-mysterious girl. When she started talking, it was this very innocent, chronically online high schooler. The voice, the personality, does not match the appearance at all. Actually, this is really incongruent with my idea of her. She’s so attractive to me when she’s still, like a photo. Whenever I see her move or talk, it’s like a completely different person from when it’s just a photo. Our autisms have low cosine similarity. It’s so bad because she’s like a siren. But then she talks.” - “One time I was TA-ing a course with a guy, and he let all our students climb up a super tall tree. He almost got fired for it, and all the kids almost got kicked out of the program. And I was like, ‘That was so stupid, that’s not safe.’ And this was a mental health program, where we weren’t supposed to let the teenagers out of our sight… the brain of a male only develops at the age of 26.”
- “On 4/20, we were all high and we went to the Ivy Room to eat dinner. It was unfair of me because they were pretty high, but I was trying to show them the Virginia Department of Wildlife Falcon Camera I really like looking at, and they were utterly uninterested, and I was offended.”
- “He didn’t use shampoo or conditioner, ever. He was a swimmer.”
- “They started picking their nose.”
- “I was at the autopsy place and [person of interest] locked me in the freezer with all the dead bodies. I would relate her to the smell of dead bodies.”
- “He grew his hair out.”
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