A capella: Literally, "by voice." If you live in Wayland or Mo-Champ, you might want to invest now in some soundproofing for your room.
A.B.: Everyone else calls it a B.A. Brown is special and calls it something else. The Bachelor of Arts degree most of you will leave with.
A.B.-Sc.B.: The 5-year program that will get you two - count them, two! - degrees before you leave.
ADOCH: A Day on College Hill. A lot of you probably came to that. It's in the Spring, right after acceptance letters go out to prospective first years. We all act happy and cheery for the weekend to convince you to come to Brown - suckers.
Annmary Brown Memorial: The creepy building next door to Health Services is an actual tomb, like, with bodies. The future site of a flash mob.
Barus and Holley: Then: the horrifically ugly home of the physics and engineering departments. Now: the horrifically ugly home of the physics and engineering departments with a beautiful new foyer and eight state-of-the-art classrooms.
Berman, Chris '77 P'08: "Boomer" is one of ESPN's most visible and popular stars, for those not "in the know." He concentrated in history at Brown - stick THAT in your pipe and smoke it, econ majors! - and got his broadcasting start covering baseball for WBRU-AM. (See BSR.)
Binder, Dave: A Spring Weekend tradition. He sings mediocre but endearing covers of bachelorette party favorites to hoards of drunken Brown students every year. (See Spring Weekend.)
Blue Room, The: Brown's version of Starbucks. Not blue in the slightest. Great to get a bagel and cup of coffee in between classes. Great soups, too. Those steps at Faunce house with picnic tables at the top lead up to the Blue Room. They don't take meal credit, but you can use your Flex Points there.
BOLT: Brown Outdoor Leadership Training is a unique opportunity to simultaneously learn how to tie a trucker's hitch, avoid the sophomore slump and bury your poop with a trowel. Five days in the White Mountains of New Hampshire with nine total strangers - it's better than whatever you had planned for the last week of summer 2006.
Brown Band: Just like your high school marching band. They're probably a lot more profane. Their uniforms have a lot of "flair." And, oh yeah, they don't march, they ice-skate.Brown Daily Herald, The: The finest independent student newspaper in this fair Republic. Published since 1866, daily since 1891, The Brown Daily Herald is financially and editorially independent from the University and is always looking for new talent.
Brown Democrats: The best student Democrats in the country. Beat that with a stick.
Brown Republicans: Could all fit in the empty space in a Perkins triple.
BSR: Brown Student Radio, WELH 88.1 FM. WBRU-FM's estranged hipster cousin broadcasts in the evenings, six days a week. But the signal doesn't really reach into most Brown dorms, so you're better off listening on the Web site, www.bsrlive.com. (See WBRU.)
BTV: Brown Television, home sex-crazed muppets and infinite reruns of "Anchorman."
BuDS: Brown University Dining Services tries with corn husking competitions and dining hall theme days to be as adorable as its acronym. Sometimes it even succeeds. Also, inventors of the infamous Polynesian Ratatouille and the Sustainable Food Initiative.
Bus Tunnel, The: Technically the "Rumford Bus Tunnel." It goes through College Hill (literally), from next to Starbucks to the intersection of Waterman and North Main streets. Don't try walking through the tunnel. Just don't.
Buxton: International House, tucked away on Wriston. Starving artist types from RISD have been known to look through their garbage.
Cable Car, The: Just down College Hill, The Cable Car doubles as a cafe and a cinema showing great independent and foreign films. Plus, it has loveseats.
Campaign: not for president but for the minds, hearts, and cold, hard cash of your parents, your grandparents, and your great-aunt in West Palm Beach.
Campus Market, The: Small venue stashed underneath the Blue Room and clearinghouse of elderly frozen burritos and ginger beer, as well as gum, Nutter Butters and paper towels. Staffed entirely by student workers, the Campus Market has a 32 percent chance of having what you're looking for. But they take Flex Points.
Carberry, Josiah: Brown's legendary professor of psychoceramics (the study of cracked pots). He does not exist. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise. He also has the only double chicken patty sandwich available at a Rhode Island fast food restaurant named after him.
Carter, Amy: We know President Jimmy Carter's daughter started here. We know she didn't graduate. The facts end there.
Cianci, Vincent a.k.a. "Buddy": The world-renowned former mayor of Providence. Now the longest-serving mayor in the city's history, he was elected in 1974, reelected in 1978 and 1982, resigned in 1984 after pleading no contest to assaulting his wife's lover with a fireplace log, hosted a radio show for a few years, was then reelected in 1990 and hadn't lost since - until he was convicted of federal crimes in 2002. He's now in New Jersey carrying out his prison sentence for racketeering and with a judge recently rejecting his latest appeal, he's likely to remain there for two more years. Legend has it Buddy used to ride up to Brown frat parties on a white horse during his first term. Cianci attended Brown's home football games, and could often be seen playing cymbals with the Brown Band.
Cicilline, David '83: Providence's gay, Jewish, Italian mayor who's also a Brown alum. He's trying to separate City Hall from its corrupt past (see Cianci, Vincent).
CIT: The Thomas J. Watson Center for Information Technology. If you don't have a printer, you'll be spending a lot of time here. But only 450 pages worth of time.
City Politics: PS 22, a focal point of controversy among those who like to argue on campus, this chronically over-enrolled class is taught by the charmingly hyperactive Professor James Morone as an overview of things that interest him.
College Hill: You are standing on it. Fairly difficult to walk up.
Concentration: In the rest of the world, these are called "majors."
Corporation: Grow out the dreads and practice with that protest drum, because in October, February and May, the cabal of rich men and women who really run Brown meet in Sayles to decide our future. You don't know who the members of the Brown Corporation are, and that's probably just how they like it.
Covered Lot: One of the only parking locations for students, located on Power Street between Thayer and Brook streets.
CPR: 1. Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation. 2. Course Performance Report - a narrative evaluation of your performance in a class. You can request one of those from any professor you have, either in addition to a letter grade, or to supplement an "S" in an S/NC class. (See S/NC)
Credit/Meal Credit: Once you've gotten into Brown, the intellectual battle has only been halfway fought. It's not in your upper-level bio classes that you'll meet your greatest mental challenge, however; it's in deciding how to purchase food on campus most effectively. The exchange rate for meal credits is one credit to $4.20. The number's a coincidence, we swear.
Dating: If you live in Perkins, you might not date your unitmates, but you are statistically doomed to marry one of them. The rest of you are just doomed.
Due Date: It is always flexible. Even when the professor swears otherwise. (See Extension)
EMS: EMS stands for Emergency Medical Services. It also stands for Eastern Mountain Sports. Call the wrong one and instead of getting a stomach pump, you'll be getting a thermos and a GPS system to help you on your trip to hell.
Endowment, small: The reason behind most of the University's financial problems ... in bed.
Extension: You will most likely ask for at least one of these in your time at Brown. Make up a good reason, and you will probably get it, too. Even when the professor says at the beginning of the year the he or she never gives extensions. (See due date).
Facebook.com, the: Making stalking easier than ever. Now it only takes a few seconds to track down that cute guy that sits next to you in class... only to find out he's gay.
Federal Hill: Providence's "Little Italy," they like to say. Since it's only really one street (Atwells Avenue), it means you can great pasta e fagioli, delicious cannoli, and vengeance for your brother's murder all in one place.
FishCO: The off-campus bar with a Brown night. No fish, but alcohol if you're legal, or look it.
First-years: Everybody else calls them "freshmen."
First-year seminars: Take one while you can, you lucky bastards.
Fraternity: These might be considered hip or cool...at some other schools.
Front Green: Also, Quiet Green. A good place for reading or making out on pleasant days.
Gate, The: The couch-infested Rec Room of Pembroke Campus. Simply O.K. pizza becomes stellar when you can buy it with meal credit instead of actual money.
GCB: The Graduate Center Bar, an actual bar buried in the basement of Grad Center. A good place to go on a weeknight to split a pitcher of beer and a game of pool. It's $20 to become a member and you get a free drink on your 21st birthday. In other words, it's so cool, and you can't go for years.
Graduate Center: Grad Center has the appeal of a sterile bunker - but without the sterility. Home to many of Brown's sophomores, this four-building sprawl has been plaguing the campus aesthetic since it was constructed, or by some accounts, assembled, from Lincoln Logs. The only valuable thing about this structure is the land it is currently devaluing.
Gut: An easy class. A really easy class. Most of them are really good too and if you are looking to free up more time in your schedule, take one of these.
Housing lottery: For some, the Housing Lottery inspires feelings of dread and angst. To others, it's pure schadenfreude.
Hutchings-Votey Organ: Located in Sayles, it's the largest one in the world! We suspect there are only three in the world.
IMP: 1. International Mentoring Program to help first-year international students adjust to studying and living in the United States. 2. The wee folk who work long into the night in the bowels of the Ratty to make us delicious "magic bars."
Infant Lab: It's in the basement of the old Metcalf Chemistry Lab, across from the greenhouse, and seems vaguely evil. (See Whispering Arch.)
Inside Brown: The University's equivalent of your grandmother's Christmas newsletter.
IPTV: We can watch TV on our computers now. But we can still complain that there are too few channels.
Ivy League: Now that you're in the Ivy League, some may get you to start thinking we have rivalries with schools like Harvard and Yale. They are wrong. Harvard and Yale have a rivalry with each other in which they all wear white, frequently poke each other in the chest and make bar graph comparisons of their endowments. And get punk'd by MIT. It could be worse, we could be Cornell.
Jäger Hall: Slated for completion in 2008, this building - also known as the Sidney Frank Hall - will house the cognitive and linguistic sciences department and an auditorium. And a fountain flowing with Jägermeister and Grey Goose Vodka, the cash cows of the man who is funding the building.
Jo's: Technically "Josiah's," the snack bar of choice for residents south of the Main Green. Located on the ground floor of New Dorm A, it's the home of wraps, snacks, and fried foods - especially the Carberry. Mmmmm.
John Hay, The: One of those very collegiate libraries in which you feel like you shouldn't touch anything. But it's really nice inside. The Hay has many rare collections and is home to the Anne S.K. Brown Military Collection of toy soldiers and the University Archives, for you Brown history buffs.
Jolt: You probably already know about the Daily Jolt, Brown's own little Craigslist on training wheels. So instead, we'll give you a few points to ponder next time you're obsessively hitting the "refresh" button on the forum: Are the professor quotes real? Who are those cretins in the forums? Do they even go to Brown?
Kennedy, John Fitzgerald '83: We're glad he broke the family trend of Harvard attendance. Yes, he kept a pig in his dorm.
Leung Gallery: Pronounced "lee-ung." The big gallery above The Blue Room, on the third floor of Faunce. Now home to large parties thrown by student organizations.
Lincoln Field: The green between Sayles and Thayer Street. The upper section is perfect for studying, while the lower part is often the site of football and Frisbee games. After World War II, it was the site of the Veteran's College. Before that, it was a swamp.
LiSci: The steel monstrosity between main campus and Pembroke Campus will, at least in theory, become the Life Sciences Building in spring 2006. Until then, it's just a hovering skeleton that will wake Em-Wool residents at 6 a.m. to the sounds of trucks in reverse.
Magaziner, Ira '69 P'06 P'07: The New Curriculum was his brainchild while he was an undergraduate. He also had a big role in President Bill Clinton's failed universal health care proposal in 1993. Hey, one out of two ain't bad.
Magic Bars: One of the few delicious deserts at the Ratty. Chocolate, coconut, cookie - sounds gross but it is good stuff!
Main Green: If you haven't figured out where this is, go home.
Manning Walk: The beautiful walkway from Soldier's Arch through Sciences Park up to Barus and Holley.
Meiklejohn: Pronounced like "nickel-john," but with an "M." Alexander Meiklejohn was a professor of philosophy. Meiklejohns are now your upperclass counselors who tell the straight truth about professors of philosophy (and anything else you need to know about academics at Brown).
MCM: The Department of Modern Culture and Media, once home to all the eccentrics you came to Brown to witness in their natural habitat, now full of poseurs with pink hair who think they're part of the counter-culture because they're sitting in a film class watching Godard.
MPC: Minority Peer Counselor. The counselors who are specially trained to advise first-year students on minority issues. They are assisted by MPC Friends.
Naked Doughnut Run: On the last night of reading period, dedicated scholars in the Absolute Quiet Room in the Rock and on the Sci Li Mezz get a special treat: doughnuts! Made doubly delicious by the nudes that hand it to you.
New Curriculum: This is what allows you take whatever classes you want, and what allows you potentially to have zero grades when you graduate. It's 35 years old, but we still call it new. Go figure. (See New Dorm).
New Dorm: Not so new anymore, the former Thayer Street quad is officially called Vartan Gregorian Quad. The two buildings contain upperclassmen suites, often coveted living space for juniors. Building A is home to Josiah's, a campus snack bar, and the Donald L. Saunders '57 Family Inn at Brown University.
9 a.m.: Too early for class. Don't even ask about AB hour.
OMAC: Olney-Margolies Athletic Center. Where you go to try to keep off the "freshman 15." Your high school gym had more and better equipment. But the two satellite gyms in Keeney and Emery halls and the one in Grad center will ease the crunch of overgrown athletes keeping you off machines in the OMAC.
Orientation Week: Enjoy this while it lasts. Being overscheduled will never be this relaxing again.
Orwig: Underused but beautiful music library; only open until 10 p.m.
Pacifica House: A society so secret you can visit their website.
Page 2: Post-'s most widely read page, because it features a nearly-naked guy and girl getting their 15 minutes of hipster fame.
Parking Space: Something you'll never find in Providence, anywhere.
Patriot's Court: An extension of Wriston Quad. A bit quieter. Otherwise unremarkable.
Pawtucket: A city bordering Providence, which is pronounced PUHtucket not PAWtucket. The locals tend to get rabid if you say it wrong. The movie "Outside Providence" took place here.
Pembroke: The northern part of Brown's campus used to be Pembroke College, an all-female coordinate to Brown. The merge occurred officially in 1970, though there had been plenty of under-the-table sexiling for several years. Legend has it that if you step on the seal on the steps leading up to the college, your next sexual encounter will result in impregnation. Or you'll meet the person you're supposed to marry here at Brown. We can't remember.
Perkins: 1. A beloved pancake restaurant that has not yet made it east of New York, to the dismay of many late-night cravers of the legendary "Tremendous 12." 2. A first-year dorm that is nearly as far away as the nearest Perkins Restaurant. We hope you guys brought mopeds.
Plan for Academic Enrichment: Ruth's vaguely sinister-sounding plan to ensure that your kids have a better Brown experience than you.
PLME: Brown's Program in Liberal Medical Education lets you go straight into the Medical School without ever taking the MCATs. Only available to students admitted as PLMEs, and also the only reason to go downcity.
Post-: The Herald's witty, interesting, and beautifully designed arts & entertainment magazine. Post- includes music, film, theater and dining reviews, interviews and scintillating feature stories. It comes out in The Herald every Thursday.
Potato Head, Mr.: You don't have to look hard to find this Hasbro toy and his bucket of parts in Rhode Island. In an outdoor "art" exhibit similar to the cows littered around the streets of New York and Chicago, the smallest state in the union brought the giant spuds to proclaim Rhode Island as "The Birthplace of Fun."
ProJo: The Providence Journal. Rhode Island's largest daily newspaper that gets very excited when big things happen in this tiny state. It's not exactly The New York Times, but it's cute that it recycles all their stories, anyway.
Protests: They happen. All too often. But for some reason, they are all really lame here. At other schools, they barricade themselves in the president's office with bicycle locks. Here they parade around with dumb signs and moronic chants.
Providence Place Mall: One of the crowning achievements of the previous mayoral administration (see Cianci, Vincent), this behemoth provides almost everything you need within a long walk of campus. As long as everything you need can be found at upscale chain stores, a multiplex, and a food court.
Queer Alliance: The current name of the LGBT student organization. One of the most visible student groups on campus, it focuses on making Brown a more positive space for queer students by providing a variety of education and social programming. And one or two huge, risqué, highly publicized parties.
Ratty: "The Sharpe Refectory." Saying things like, "Let's meet at the Sharpe Refectory" will usually get laughs from the easily amused. According to legend, the full name got shortened to "Rat Factory," and lazy Brown students took the name a step farther. It has road signs for easy navigation. Love it, it loves you.
RC: 1. The black sheep of the cola family. 2. "Resident Counselor," the dedicated individual who will guide you through Orientation, help you adjust to college life, and persuade you not to vomit on yourself (or your roommate) after your first trip to Wriston.
Reading period: Ten days off between when classes end and final exams begin. You're supposed to finish up your work but you'll end up drinking ... a lot.
Registrar: Michael Pesta. Nice guy. But the office takes a week to do anything and will mess up your registration at least four times while you're here - the last school in the industrialized world where you still have to register in person. Keep copies of everything they give you.
Rhode Island: Officially the State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations ... little Rhody, the smallest state in the nation with the longest name, and your home now.
RIPTA: The bus.
RISD: Rhode Island School of Design. Brown students can, at least in theory, take advantage of classes at RISD, but the lack of storage space and the wildly different schedule RISD runs on hinder most Brown students from heading halfway down College Hill. But those who make it into classes at RISD find them to be well worth the trouble.
Rock, The: The John D. Rockefeller Jr. Library. The main humanities library on campus where students spend more time hitting the books than they ever thought possible, probably more because they get lost in the cryptic, dimly lit stacks than because they're motivated. Bathroom-wall graffiti from this building propagated a serious anti-sexual harassment movement, so respect it. Just be warned of the ear-piercing, closing-time bell - if you're there to hear it, you've been working too long.
Roommate contract: This document governs your interactions with your bunkmate-to-be and lays down important ground rules concerning his or her interactions with others. Sounds positively Big Brother, but can make a difference in your life if you take the time to look at it, fill it out, sign it and turn it in. (See Sexile.)
Sc.B.: Everyone else calls it a B.S.
S/NC: The option to take any class "Pass/Fail." One of the beauties of the New Curriculum. (See New Curriculum)
SciLi, The: The Sciences Library. Fourteen stories - color coded according to the pH system only SciLi users can understand - of books primarily in foreign languages. You're supposed to have sex on the 13th floor (we hear there's a nice view of the city up there). The top of the SciLi is the highest point in the state of Rhode Island. Hey, it's a little state and we're on a hill.
Seekonk: A beautifully trashy municipality directly across the border in Massachusetts, with three multiplexes, strip malls, suburban paranoia and every chain store you could ever need. Only 10 minutes away by car/cab.
Segal, David: Say what you will about the Green Party, but it has a representative on Providence City Council with this Columbia University alum, whose Ward 1 includes much of Brown's campus. He was ushered into office in 2002 on a single issue: making it easier for people to park their gas-guzzling, internal combustion engine-based, smog-creating vehicles in the city. Ralph Nader would have been proud, if Segal had done anything in the last three years to bring his plans to fruition.
Sexile: A merger of the words "exile" and "sex." What happens if you have a roommate who wants to invite a special friend over to spend the night. You end up sleeping on the floor in the lounge. If you even have one.
Simmons, Ruth: Brown's 18th president and the first African-American president of an Ivy League school. She has a vaguely sinister-sounding Plan for Academic Enrichment that, if executed (read: funded), will give this year's first-years everything we never had. (See Campaign.)
Spoons: That Assassins-type game every freshman unit ends up playing. You can identify first-years for several weeks because they're carrying around plasticware.
Spring Weekend: In a good year, the much-ballyhooed Spring Weekend means big-name bands playing on our very own Main Green, couches on Wriston, lots of drinking and casual sex. A rain-filled weekend pushed the Ben Folds concert inside this year, which means we're due for a beautiful weekend of debauchery this spring.
Stadium: It's over a mile away. Isn't that a bit ridiculous? Also where poor, poor sophomores used to get stuck parking, until these spaces were eliminated, preventing them from parking altogether.
Stockpot: This monthly newsletter from BuDS is perhaps the only campus publication to rival The Brown Daily Herald in journalistic ambition and integrity.
SunLab: Located on the first floor of the CIT, the SunLab is filled with Sun workstations for computer science students. Good luck trying to get a computer on the night before a big project is due. Or Friday and Saturday night, for that matter.
T.A.: Teaching Assistant. They teach some intro-level language classes, as well as some courses in math and other departments. Some are helpful. Some are useless. Some will end up dating your roommate.
Thayer Street: Serving as the DMZ between Brown and its real-world neighbors, this avenue was formerly home to a plethora of eclectic shops and a roving motorcycle gang. Now it's a glorified food court.
Tom & Tom: The "Juice Guys" of Nantucket Nectars fame are indeed dedicated Brown alums. Tom Scott, who started a TV network two years ago called Plum TV that broadcasts only in upscale vacation spots, comes back every year to talk to Engine 9 classes.
Trolley, The: A bus disguised to look like a trolley, run by RIPTA, which goes from Thayer Street, to Kennedy Plaza and Federal Hill.
Turner, Ted: Started his college career at Brown before getting thrown out for (depending on whom you believe) either poor grades or "fraternizing" with a female student back when those things were against the rules, wink wink. And look at him now!
UCS: The Undergraduate Council of Students, which tries really, really hard to be an effective student governing body.
Underground, The: An on-campus bar, located in Faunce House. It used to be easy for under-21s to get drinks here, but after an administrative crackdown and an unpleasant debacle involving local high school students, there's not much of a reason to go here instead of the GCB. During the week, it's the Hourglass Café, where proceeds go to Oxfam.
Unitcest: A merger of the words "unit" and "incest." It's when you hook up with someone in your unit. It makes things really really complicated, but you'll do it anyway.
University Hall: Register for classes here and talk to deans. The oldest building on campus, on the National Register of Historic Places, and home of the president's office.
V-Dub: The Verney-Woolley Dining Hall. The junior member of Brown's dining halls, smaller, more intimate, and with a hip nineties' soundtrack!
Watson Institute: The Thomas J. Watson Jr. Center for International Studies. Home of the International Relations concentration and world-renowned research. The former home of Elmo, a now deceased Dutch Elm tree.
WBRU: 95.5 FM, one of the largest radio stations in southern New England; the oldest college radio station in America. Run entirely by Brown students. Purported to be "the original alt-rock." We're not arguing.
Whispering Arch: At the entrance to the Infant Lab, there's a stone arch. Station a friend on one side of it, then go to the other side and whisper into it. They'll be able to hear you as if you were blowing in their ear. Freaky, huh? (see Infant Lab)
Wickenden and Wayland Square: These are two other commercial districts within walking distance that aren't Brown-related. Wickenden is famous for its head shops and pubs; Wayland Square for its bookstores. Pick your poison.
Williams, Roger: Founder of this great state, proponent of religious freedom, and now Nike-wearing giant statue in Prospect Point Park.
Wood, Gordon: A Brown professor. A pretty well-known guy in the world of American history. He teaches hard courses on the American Revolution and colonial America. He's a tough professor and a bit boring, but he knows his stuff. Consider the following from "Good Will Hunting" (when they were in the bar with the Harvard jerk (we know that's redundant)): Will: ...That'll last until sometime in your second year, then you'll be in here regurgitating Gordon Wood about the Pre-revolutionary utopia and the capital-forming effects of military mobilization.
Writing Fellows: Writing Fellows suck the pain out of throwing together a paper the night before it's due by labeling said effort a "draft," and requiring that it be "edited" by a fellow student with "superior" writing talent.#
