A diamond to Brown's new and improved "bolder and riskier" approach to its finances. It seems only natural that spending more money on things we don't need would allow us to spend even more on things we do need. Quick - channel all our tuition toward moonwalks! On the Main Green! For insider outsider art!
Coal to Mario Desouza '05, who broke the standards of community behavior by leaving his suite door unlocked while he took a nap - and got cited for it. You're an Ivy League student, Mario. You should know better than to doze off accidentally while reading "A Short History of Financial Euphoria."
A diamond to the triumphant return of Uncrustables to Josiah's. The next chapter in the 5,000-year history of the peanut butter and jelly sandwich has finally been written.
A cubic zirconium to mail fraud. It's definitely illegal, but it's good to know we've got someone watching out for us.
A diamond to trust. But coal to Kenneth Dulgarian for abusing it by lulling his tenants, including Chez Lenore, into a false sense of security, depriving them of leases and then evicting them summarily.
Coal to "Ethicist" Randy Cohen for making living the ethical life sound so darn simple during his lecture. Now we have no excuse. But a diamond to the short guy for providing the first laugh of the night. What a mensch.
A diamond to annoying ringtones for interrupting "Modern Genocide." But coal to crimes against humanity - we're sending our Nokias to Darfur.
Coal to RISD SOLAR for dashing our dreams. We thought a "solar house" would be something far hotter than the shack you're building on the bank of the Providence River.
A diamond to awkward hugs. They're the perfect way to end any job interview.
