On Saturday, the Brown community joined family and friends of Lawrence Rubida '05 in Salomon Hall to celebrate the football tri-captain's bravery as well as his ordinary love for Chinese food and video games.
Rubida died of to Ewing's Sarcoma, a rare form of bone cancer that usually affects children, in January at the age of 23.
Featuring photo montages that made the crowd both laugh and cry, as well as a performance of "Ever True to Brown" by the Jabberwocks, the service was filled with moments of deep reflection. Though the sadness of losing a young and promising life was inescapable, there was a sense that Rubida's life needed to be celebrated and remembered.
Salomon Hall was turned into a solemn memorial with photographs of Rubida as a child and on the football field proudly wearing brown and red. Members of the Brown football team ushered attendees during a classic guitar prelude by local musician Dennis Costa.
In her invocation, Janet Cooper Nelson, chaplain of the University, said Rubida leaves a "formidable legacy" for those both in and out of the Brown community.
"Lawrence brought our community together in new ways. ... He has inspired us to confront challenges with intelligence, dignity and resolve," Nelson said.
Phil Estes, head football coach, likened Rubida to the Spanish conquistador Hernando Cortez for his intense loyalty to his teammates and his "complete commitment to victory."
Estes read from an e-mail that Rubida wrote to his teammates while undergoing treatment. Rubida wrote that his "entire soul wants Cornell to lose every game they play," and that the team needed to focus on the future.
This "honesty, commitment and belief in team" defined Rubida's character, according to Estes.
"Lawrence experienced more in 23 years than most people do in a hundred," Estes said.
Richard Dresdale '78, who was both mentor and friend to Rubida, praised his passion for Brown, for life and for food.
"He consumed a lot of Chinese food at all hours of the night, which fit my family well," Dresdale said.
Dresdale said even while undergoing treatment at Stanford University's Lucile Packard Children's Hospital, Rubida still wanted to help ill children.
"When someone passes who is so young, you can't help but ask why do bad things happen to good people," Dresdale said.
He reflected on Mitch Albom's book "Tuesdays with Morrie," which deals with coming to terms with death while keeping close to the spirit of those who have passed away. Dresdale said it is important to talk about Rubida, remember his accomplishments and celebrate his legacy.
"Death ends a life, not a relationship," Dresdale said.
Daniel Startsman '03.5 and Timothy Goobic '04, two of Rubida's closest friends, remembered summers with Rubida training and playing video games for "way too long."
Startsman said Rubida sometimes felt he did not belong at Brown, despite success both on the field and in the classroom.
"It's funny that the kid who felt like he didn't belong became a leader ... and an inspiration," Startsman said.
In a reflection written jointly by Rubida's mother and girlfriend, they said, "Lawrence enjoyed eating Ramen noodles with eggs, Chinese food and Egg McMuffins while playing Madden Football on his X-Box. He experienced a dip or two in his educational journey but was uplifted by episodes of 'The Family Guy.'"
Startsman echoed this love of life and its simplicity.
"Life should not be ... about arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but about skidding in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, 'Woo-hoo, what a ride!' " Startsman read from a passage that he said reminded him of Rubida.
Kimberly Highlund '04, Rubida's girlfriend, emotionally remembered Lawrence as "L-train," a nickname given to him in high school for his "speed, agility and size" on the field. Highlund said the name also represented more about Rubida.
"He sped into life and captured your heart going 110 miles per hour all the way."
However, Highlund said during the last days of Rubida's life, he especially "wrestled with God and his inner demons."
"The Wednesday before he passed on, (Lawrence) accepted the Lord ... he died with dignity, respect. ... He was more at peace," Highlund said.
On the flight to Providence, Highlund said she wrote a letter to Rubida she wished she had the chance to read to him.
"You gave my life purpose," Highlund wrote in the letter.
Born in San Francisco in 1981, Rubida grew up in Arlington, Va., and blossomed as a force to be reckoned with at Yorktown High School, where he lettered in football and basketball, all while serving as senior class vice president. This prowess landed him at Brown, where he became Second Team All-Ivy in his junior year and eventually the team tri-captain. With one semester left as a political science concentrator, Rubida succumbed to Ewing's in January after being diagnosed in spring 2004.
"The Providence Journal headline ... said Lawrence lost (a) battle with cancer," Estes said. "But the battle never got to his soul."
