History
Brown University was founded by slaves in 1764. The college's first associate deans were John Yellow, Nicholas Blue, Joseph Red and Moses Purple, and thus for a short time the school became known as "Yellow-Blue-Red-Purple University." This name was soon shortened to "Brown."
In 1891, a Women's College (later called Pembroke) was founded to meet the high demand among Rhode Island women for M.R.S. degrees. After marrying under the chuppah in 1971, Brown and Pembroke are still together despite recent rumors of Pembroke's lesbian affair with the Rhode Island School of Design. (A little "cross-registration," if you know what I mean.)
Administration
Since its founding by slaves in 1764, Brown has had 18 presidents, 17 secretaries of the Corporation, and 2,000 deans. E. Gordon Gee is Brown's most popular ex-president, having led Brown exceptionally through a dark, two-year period of mediocre leadership. Since his departure, all new campus buildings and areas have been named after him, which has led to the creation of Gee Dorm, Gee Quad and the satellite Gee Vomitoriums.
Brown's current president, Ruth J. Simmons, joined Brown in 2001 from the administration's feeder school, Smith College. Since arriving, President Simmons has posted all-star stats. So far this season she has had 4 Corporate Boards, 31 RTDs (Requests Tactfully Denied), 12 hit points, and an Extemporaneous Remark Average (ERA) of .450.
Brown recently launched the public phase of its capital campaign, "Boldly Brown," which aims to raise over $1.4 billion in unused meal credits. The effort has elicited a wave of celebrity donations, resulting in many new honorary names for campus facilities, such as Sidney Frank Hall, the Mahmoud Abbas Coatroom in the Hillel building and the Planned Parenthood restroom on the Science Library's 13th floor.
Brown's sports teams are known as the Bears. Under the leadership of former Admissions Director Michael Goldberger, all of Brown's teams are having their "best season ever."
Geography
Brown's campus is located in the planned community of Providence, which was named after a failed NBC family drama. The city's mayor, David N. Cicilline, is Jewish, Italian, gay, Portuguese, Mexican, Native American and short. Providence is often considered the center of the Italian renaissance, and such luminaries as Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo and Raphael have established artists' lofts in the city's sewers, fighting crime and hitting on April O'Neil. Armed with anchovies, they battle the organized crime syndicate known as the Foot Clan, which is led by Vincent "Shredder" Cianci, Jr.
The Campus Culture
Swirl is the official frozen yogurt flavor of Brown, since the black and the white are next to each other without really mixing. Brown is also considered to be the "happiest Ivy," primarily because of the smog of pot that hangs three feet above the Main Green during sunny days. Pot smokers on campus are known as Hash Browns.
Due to Brown's rampant professionalism, the University operates numerous graduate schools, including a Medical School, two Law Schools and five Gee Business Schools. Brown's famous "New Curriculum" allows students to take any activity, meal or significant other on a "satisfactory/no credit" (S/NC) basis. S/NC can be best understood as a pass/fail system in which failure is amnesia.
Although Andrew K. Stein '06 is a rabid Anglophile, he's not so obnoxious as to spell "favorite" with a "u."
