"Dude, where are the lectures at tonight, man?"
"I think there's this awesome one on 'Freedom of Speech in Modern Universities' in Salomon 101. I'm bringing a six-pack of books in my bag."
"Sweet, man. You think I could pre-game on the material with you? Or would I be too much of a freeloader?"
"Sure. Oh, you know it was so awesome: At the lecture last night in Wilson 102 there was this girl, man, who, dude, had the biggest ideas and her brain was just so fine, man. We spent the whole night banging out conversation. And, dude, there was this back-and-forth exchange of philosophical viewpoints. God, it stimulates my mind just thinking about it, but it was sort of a one-night thing."
"Yeah, those one-night stands are cool, but sometimes a more committed exchange can work, too. Like, I met this girl at a lecture on 'Women in Science' last month, and we got into this awesome debate about whether or not the gender discrepancy in scientific fields in higher education was partially because of genetic differences and not just cultural norms. Well, if we got into that debate every time we met, it would get boring. But, I mean, we switch up the styles and stuff. Like sometimes we'll discuss existentialism and sometimes we'll debate about whether hamburgers taste better than hot dogs. Once in a while, we'll even include a third member in our debates. And we do kinky stuff too, like sometimes we'll do improv or artwork instead of having debates."
"Wow, you're a really crazy intellsexual. I like to stick to the more conventional stuff. But I have a friend who once got into this debate with 12 people."
"Did he live at Zete?"
"That's besides the point. Anyway, I know that most people get their intellectual satisfaction from lectures, and that's the most socially accepted way to do it, but I've found other venues to be equally, if not more, satisfying. Like school clubs, and once in a while just striking up conversations with people walking by."
"Dude, you know that's illegal."
"Well, Students for a Sensible Debating Policy are trying to change that."
"Yeah, but don't you think that will lead to more one-time conversations with people, conversations that don't turn into anything?"
"Yeah, but I think that's fine. Odds are, they won't infect you with some crazy viewpoint so long as you protect yourself with critical thinking."
"True. Anyway, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"
"Hmmm, depends."
"Do you ever intellectually masturbate?"
"Yeah, I think we all do. I mean, I write in my blog all the time."
"Well, it's funny, because there's this girl I know who has no shame. She intellectually masturbates in front of everyone. I mean, she wrote this column in The Herald that didn't really have a point except that beforehand she was thinking: 'Wouldn't it be kinda cool if there was a culture of people at Brown who had the same enthusiasm in ideas and academics as in getting drunk and hooking up?'"
"Dude, I think that culture already exists. I think that's most of Brown."
"Well, I mean, even so, it should definitely be a bigger thing. I mean, imagine if on Saturday nights people were like, 'Dude, where are the lectures at tonight, man?'"
"That'd be pretty cool. But sometimes it's fun on the weekends to just relax, and instead of thinking, succumb to pure, physical pleasure."
"Okay, fine. Then let's compromise."
"What about throwing a series of historically-themed parties starting with the caveman era, then leading to Ancient Greece and maybe the Great Depression as well? Dude, I'll dress up as FDR. And when we're done with those we could do biochemistry parties; I have this friend who looks exactly like Adenine. Wait, no, I got it! We could have interdisciplinary parties. 'Shaping of World Views' next week and 'Transformation of the Research University' one tonight. I'll dress up as an SAT exam, and you can dress up as the 'Sociological Perspective on 19th Century Media Outlets in Eastern-Central Bosnia' professor who is so into research that he has his TA run every lecture."
"Deal. I'll bring the six-packs."
Anna Aufseeser '09 gets it on in the microfiche room.
