A diamond to fencing star Ruth Schneider '06, the girl so nice we misnamed her twice. So maybe Ruth Simmons is not a fencer. But admit it - the thought of our beloved prez going after Bill O'Reilly with an epée is immensely gratifying.
Coal to old men looking at porn in the Rock. But a diamond to Carnegie Mellon University for showing a porn take-off of "Pirates of the Caribbean" with student fees. To recap - ironic, group viewing of porn with University resources: awesome. Lonely, un-ironic viewing of Internet porn in library: makes us sad inside.
A cubic zirconium to the newly formed Brown Boobies. It's great that we finally have a bird-watching club, but the uncontrollable giggling your name causes us reminds us of just how immature we still are.
A diamond to hair stylist Michael Anthony's claim that Lenore Ronci's takeover bid was "not the way things are done - at least not in America." That's right - because if mediocre hair stylists can't give bowl cuts to male first-years, the terrorists have truly won.
Coal to "The O.C." So some self-satisfied Harbor High student thinks Brown is "too Vanity Fair"? As if.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Coal to a much-covered, highly decorated athlete who will not speak to The Herald. However, at least one displaced Tulane student could stand to learn from his example.
A diamond to former Ambassador Joseph Wilson and his Jewish ex-wife. But it's OK that it didn't work out, Joe - Valerie Plame's shiksappeal is beyond dispute.
And a cubic zirconium to student protesters at the University of Rhode Island. We have to respect the demands of anyone who duct-tapes his mouth shut, then complains that he can't speak.
