Even after taping for "Survivor: Guatemala" ended and he returned home to Pittsburgh, Rafe Judkins '05 was sworn to secrecy about the show. Now that his $5 million non-disclosure contract with CBS has ended, the Brown alum can freely discuss everything from how he prepared for life in the Guatemalan wilderness to his feelings about being voted off in the final episode and his plans for a post-"Survivor" future.
Getting thereRafe Judkins '05 sent in his preliminary audition videotape for "Survivor: Guatemala" in January 2005. Of over 100,000 applicants, he was one of the lucky few who lasted through multiple callbacks. For the rest of spring semester - his last at Brown - Judkins was swamped with secondary interviews and callbacks in Pittsburgh and Los Angeles. He had to leave campus for weeks at a time, and, unable to share the real reason for his absences, Judkins could offer no better explanation to his puzzled professors other than that he "had to go back home for a while."
"I realized that it was a long shot to get on the show, and even if I didn't, I would still be failing out of Brown," Judkins said. "In the end, I barely graduated."
His extended absences turned out to be worthwhile, however, when Judkins learned on May 15 that he would be going to Guatemala. He immediately told his roommates, who started to help Judkins train for the show after they finished celebrating.
During the next month, Judkins deliberately put on an extra 15 pounds so he would have more weight available to lose while in Guatemala. He also worked with free weights and hired a physical trainer, though he could not tell the trainer for what he was preparing.
"Oh, it's kind of a wilderness activity ... that's really intense," Judkins explained to his trainer. "And I don't really know what I'm going to have to do. I just need to be prepared for ... well, pretty much anything."
As another way of preparing, Judkins had also audited a spring course on Mayan civilization: AN 52: "Classic Mayan Civilization," taught by Professor of Anth-ropology Stephen Houston. The class focused on the ancient civilization that once flourished in present-day Central America, and Judkins learned about Mayan customs as well as the flora and fauna of Guatemala and the surrounding region.
"The class gave me some background in the area and Mayan civilization," Judkins said. Later on, during the season finale of the show, he would be the only member of the final four contestants who would choose not to partake of a sacrificial offering of burnt chicken, out of respect for the Mayan ceremony.
Houston remembered Judkins as "a friendly-looking, smiling, red-haired fellow who always sat at the back of the class," adding that he was astonished to later see Judkins on the show. While Houston didn't regularly watch "Survivor," he did visit the show's Web site to monitor Judkins' progress.
"I was pleased to see him doing so well," Houston said. "It's great that he got something out of the class, and I think it's great that Brown had such a nice guy representing the school."
Judkins gained additional preparation for the show from his experience in Brown Outdoor Leadership Training. He credited the program as being the "best preparation" he had and said that it gave him extra confidence going into the show despite being one of the youngest participants.
"BOLT really gave me the tools to go out there - not just because it was outdoors, but also because I learned about communication and diversity and leadership. It taught me so many important skills," Judkins said.
In the wildIn June, a helicopter dropped him off in the Guatemalan jungle. Judkins successfully survived for almost 40 days, outlasting 15 other contestants. By the time the season finale aired Dec. 11, Judkins was one of the final four competitors, along with Danni Boatwright, Stephenie LaGrossa and Lydia Morales.
Judkins did well at the start of the episode, winning the first immunity challenge by running through a large maze to collect puzzle pieces and assembling them into an image before three other contestants. He secured a spot in the final trio.
"I really liked all of them," Judkins said of the other three contestants. "We all got along really well, and it was hard to vote someone off." In the end, however, Judkins, Boatwright and LaGrossa voted off Morales.
The three remaining contest-ants then went on to face the final immunity challenge. Whoever won it would advance to the final two and be allowed to choose another contestant to advance and face the jury. Both Boatwright and LaGrossa had promised to take Judkins if either of them won immunity in the round, so Judkins felt his position was secure.
The final immunity challenge was a test of balance and stamina in which the three competitors had to balance on a small, wobbling platform that tilted 360 degrees in all directions. If at any point their feet touched the ground or poles for support, they would be disqualified.
For the first hour, each player was allowed to hold onto two ropes to maintain his or her balance. After the hour had passed, however, they had to release one rope. At this point, both Boatwright and LaGrossa slipped, losing their balance and struggling to keep their feet from touching the ground. Judkins managed to maintain his balance on the platform a little longer.
"I thought that since they (Boatwright and LaGrossa) had slipped, I had won the challenge! And I was thinking 'Wow, I just won a million dollars!'" Judkins said.
However, the challenge cont-inued as Judkins lost his balance. The three contestants struggled to keep their feet from touching the ground by holding onto the single rope and leaning their backs on a pole in a wall-sit position. According to Judkins, it was easier for Boatwright to balance between the platform and pole because she was taller, while Judkins was in a great deal of pain. Eventually, his foot touched the pole as he struggled to stay upright, and Judkins was eliminated from the challenge. After LaGrossa lost, Boatwright won final immunity.
A fateful decisionAt this point, Judkins decided to relinquish his promised spot in the final two.
"Danni felt that if she took me, she would lose whereas if she took Steph she would win," Judkins said. He told Boatwright that she didn't have to keep her promise, saying that she should "make the best decision for herself."
"I didn't want to strong-arm her," said Judkins, who after speaking with Boatwright still thought she might take him to the final two. In the end, however, he was voted out. Judkins maintains that he does not regret his decision. Though he did want to win, he acknowledged that he was better-off financially than Boatwright.
"I decided that if she really needed the money, that she could betray me," Judkins said. "I mean, it's still a betrayal, but I was the one who put both of them (Boatwright and LaGrossa) into the position that they had to take me to the final two if either of them won. That just wasn't right."
Back homeDuring the time Judkins spent in Guatemala, his family created elaborate stories to keep his participation on the show a secret. Fortunately, Judkins and his younger brother, Landon Judkins '09, had previously planned a 15-month world trip together. Landon had planned on deferring his admission to Brown for one year, but the trip was cancelled so that Rafe could participate in "Survivor: Guatemala." Most of the family's friends and relatives, however, still thought the trip was on schedule, so they were told that both Rafe and Landon were on a farm in Norway. Those who were in Pittsburgh, however, knew that Landon was at home, so these friends were told that Rafe was in Greece studying sea turtles.
"It was pretty much entirely fabrication," said Landon, who had known about his brother's intentions to go on the show as early as January of 2005.
Landon Judkins said that he had not been too worried about his brother. "I'd seen a few seasons of 'Survivor,' and I figured he'd be able to handle it," he said. "Of course, the Guatemala season turned out to be the toughest 'Survivor' yet, but Rafe's pretty tough too. I figured he'd be okay."
Though many of his relatives and friends were initially ex-cited, they were also nervous, particularly because he wouldn't be able to communicate with them about the show at all. But the general worry turned out to have some positive side-effects.
"Normally, after graduation a lot of friends lose touch, but my friends would keep calling each other to ask how I was doing," Rafe said. "It brought everyone together."
Outside of friends and family, many of Judkins' fans have also come together to support their favorite "Survivor." The "Rafe Judkins Fan Club" on TheFacebook.com and the fan site designed by Landon Judkins - www.rafejudkins.net - are just two examples of online sites dedicated to Judkins. In the latter site's guestbook, people from all over the world voice their support. One young fan wrote, "I am Jack and i am nine years old and live in sydney australia. You and Stephenie were my favourite survivors." Another fan wrote, "I loved the game you played and everything you brought to what we saw on the air. I think you changed the face of survivor. Thanks for putting yourself out there. Your courage, heart, and honesty spoke to many of us."
Judkins said his newfound fame takes some getting used to, particularly when fans recognize him and approach him in supermarkets and other public places.
"It seems weird that an experience that was so personal to me was watched by all of America," he explained. But Judkins went on to emphasize that the recognition also had its positive sides.
"As a gay man, I really appreciate the fact that fans have come up to me and said that I changed their views and inspired them," he said. During a recent trip to visit his old high school, Pittsburgh 's Sewickley Academy, the school threw a "Rafe Day."
"All the kids were wearing Rafe T-shirts," Judkins said. "My high school used to be so conservative that gay teachers weren't allowed to openly come out of the closet. But the students were being inspired by me ... a gay man and role model. It felt really good, and made me feel better about how I played the game."
Judkins also recommended the reality television experience to college undergraduates as "the best summer internship" possible.
"I was blind-folded, flown in a helicopter and dropped off in the jungle, and I had to survive for almost 40 days. I had to make friends and make tough decisions. And now, I feel so much more self-reliant and more confident in myself as an individual. I left the show feeling like I could do anything."
He acknowledged that Brown students in particular have a unique sense of independence that networks look for when choosing people for the shows.
"Of course," Judkins added, "most Brown students are also too socially conscious to even watch reality TV, let alone apply to be on one of the shows!"
Now, as he pursues his dreams of becoming a screenwriter in Los Angeles, Judkins says he feels confident in his ability to succeed. "Survivor" also helped him along his path, giving him contacts in the industry and making it possible for him to secure meetings with agents he would not have been able to arrange otherwise. And until his career takes off, he is able to support himself now through speaking engagements and autograph appearances.
Of course, there is also that $85,000 prize he won as the second runner-up, which he invested to provide a "safety bubble" while out in Los Angeles.
"This way, if things don't go well, I'll still have something to fall back on," Judkins said, showing that his "Survivor" mentality is still intact.
