The world is going to hell. North Korea has the bomb. America has its head up its ass. Our good friend burnt his toast this morning.
Why do bad things happen to good people? Perhaps our world's citizens have lost their way. What do we have to hold on to in times like these?
Each other.
Skimming the Brown Daily Jolt suggests that people want four things: unconditional casual sex, a place to rant about our university, an argument with campus Republicans and late-night cuddling.
The first three are impractical and illogical. Chances are, your attempt at a Daily Jolt hookup is going to end up in disappointment (trust us - we've tried). You're probably not going to transfer out of Brown. And poster "Guest" is not going to change his political mind, no matter how well-reasoned your response is.
But cuddling is easy, accessible, safe and practical. People crave it because it brings mutual satisfaction and makes them feel secure and loved. It's like a return to the womb - in a less Oedipal way. For 15 minutes, the average length of a cuddle session, two people are alone in the world; they can forget about life's worries and the strife of their earthly existence.
Cuddling is cheaper than therapy, less risky than alcohol and has fewer calories than chocolate (but just as satisfying!) - if the right conditions are met.
At this point, our curious readers may ask - what distinguishes cuddling from making out? Sometimes our dramatic retellings of cuddling exploits are met with cynicism. "We slept together last night," a friend might say, and immediately interrupt himself. "No, no - it was in a platonic, non-sexual way. We cuddled." The audience may be disappointed at this anticlimactic ending, but cuddling has the potential to be extremely satisfying.
Random hookups may be impersonal and self-serving. The two people may never see each other again. Cuddling, on the other hand, is an affectionate display of trust and a friendship-building activity. It's less awkward the next day, more relaxed and in line with more people's comfort zones.
If you're not currently cuddling, you're not alone. We have some advice for you.If you have a cuddle partner in mind, test the waters first. Place your hand on their shoulder during conversation or initiate a random hug in the hallway. Perhaps you may progress to a head scratch or a gentle linking of arms. Eventually, once both of you become used to the idea of physical contact, the interaction may become prolonged.
Clear communication is necessary between the two parties. There has to be a mutual understanding that this is gearing towards cuddling, and not sex. That decision can be made later or not at all.
If the cuddling doesn't work out, there is no obligation to repeat the experience. However, don't let it discourage you from future attempts.
Two weeks ago, on Oct. 20, America observed National Cuddle Day. This largely went unnoticed by the Brown community as an official holiday. Next year, we need more formal activities. Oct. 20, 2007 will fall on a Saturday night. Cuddle Power God, anyone?
Baird Bream '10 and Natalia Nazarewicz '10 are in a satisfying, platonic, non-sexual relationship.
