Coal to the "NESCAC rash," which caused red welts and pustules for hundreds of runners at a recent cross-country race. But a diamond to Cate Moffett, director of student health at Connecticut College, who said runners could avoid the rash if they abstained from "plunging into standing water in marsh areas." Incidentally, that's also a good way to avoid being referred to as "that crazy person who plunges into standing water in marsh areas."
Coal to indie rock outfit Beirut for canceling Thursday night's concert. This is like the time your Beirut partner stood you up the night before league semi-finals and you had to play with that sketchy frat guy and he tried to get you to go home with him and... oh, wait, different Beirut.
A diamond to Ray Trinque, a second cook at the Sharpe Refectory who gave one enterprising Herald reporter an inside look at the hard work that goes into those pre-Thanksgiving practice dinners. Also, a diamond to spinach being back in the Ratty. Baby.
A diamond to Duke, to whom the men's soccer team bowed Wednesday. Not for the win, but because we haven't seen this many repeated puns on the sports page since the women's rugby team exterminated Buffalo.
Coal to the University's initiative to map all bathrooms on campus. We'd much rather have a map of vending machines - there are only so many times we can walk back from the CIT at 4 a.m. bearing armloads of chips and Diet Cokes while retaining our dignity.
A diamond to resourceful students who earn extra cash by becoming test subjects. But coal to the fact that researchers conducting anti-smoking "continuing management" studies - which provide cash rewards as incentive for daily smokers to quit their habit - haven't tapped the gold mine that is the front steps of the Herald office.
A diamond to James Risen '77, the national security correspondent for the New York Times who delivered this semester's Herald lecture Saturday, for valiantly withstanding the long-winded questions of Providence natives/our parents.
And, lastly, a diamond to a recent study finding that resveratrol, a substance found in red wine, drastically extends the lifespan of mice. If this result applies to humans, then certain members of the editorial board may very well live forever following tonight's end-of-year Herald banquet.
