Diamond to Brown's dark knights of noise protection. Director of State and Community Relations Darrell Brown compared his and ResLife Dean Rich Bova's efforts to curb off-campus disruptions to Batman and Robin's protection of Gotham City - and they won't tolerate any jokers.
Coal to former Sen. Lincoln Chafee '75, distinguished visiting fellow at the Watson Institute for International Studies, for becoming an angry old grandfather. What happened to being a cute senatorial teddy bear?
Diamond to the new "power tool" on campus: Dean Ann Gaylin. Brown Home Depot enthusiasts are happy to know we have her in the shed. Especially during the many "home improvements" popping up across campus with all this Building Brown.
Coal to the student who, in our coverage of new cereal dispensers at the V-Dub, told The Herald his precise rationalization for stealing quarter-full boxes of Fruit Loops. Save that nonsense for job interviews.
Diamond to the field hockey team for whopping University of Maine in a "stroke-off" following overtime. By beating a team from a big state, these Rhode Island girls are reassuring us that size doesn't really matter. Maybe.
Coal to the committee that put latex gloves in the condom vending machine - but didn't have the foresight to put in safety goggles.
Diamond to the men's basketball team, just back from its European tour, who noticed that their overseas brethren used many more "ball-screens" than they did. Ball-screens are all well and good, but can those Belgians get dental dams and latex gloves from their campus vending machines?
Speaking of socialism, coal to those French hot dogs that our men's basketball team found less-than-tasty on their Eurotrip. Everyone knows you can't find good francs in France.
Cubic zirconium to Facilities Management for its weekend program to clean up bathrooms. But piloting the program on Parents' Weekend? What you trying to say about our mamas?
