A diamond to the students in Esperanza International for successfully getting an environmental protection article added to Ecuador's constitution. Impressive - SDS can't even save the RIPTA routes.
Coal to the Brown Bookstore for choosing Blue State Coffee to run its revamped store. We're only OK with this openly political choice if you keep things balanced - say, by outsourcing the clothing to Red State Sweatshops.
A gorgeous, perfect, really huge diamond to the groundbreaking study that found an overwhelming majority of Brown students prefer Barack Obama to John McCain. Genius! And so unexpected. You deserve a freaking Nobel. (Then again, we're the ones who wrote about it.)
A diamond to the people behind the Trees 2020 initiative, which aims to plant 40,000 trees in Providence in the next 12 years. Just keep them at least 100 feet away from the sculpture on the Front Green, please.
And cubic zirconium to Doug Still, Providence's city forester, for finding that as lush as the city seems, only 23 percent of its area is covered by trees. We appreciate your efforts to make the city more lush, but we've always thought of Providence as a steady drinker.
Wait a minute, Providence has an official city forester? A diamond to that!
Coal to this fiscal year's drop in state tax revenue, which, is forcing citizens and governments alike to "tighten their belts," according to a spokesperson for Gov. Donald Carcieri '65. If only Dunkin' Donuts weren't so darn cheap and delicious, we could tighten our belts even more.
A diamond to Rufus Griscom '91 for achieving the Brown trifecta: making a living writing about sex, pissing off your alumni parents and feeling that, somehow, classes in Modern Culture and Media helped you get by in the real world.
Coal to the survey finding Brown to be second-to-last among the Ivies in the number of times it's mentioned in the media. Your methodology is questionable at best - and, fortunately for us, easily subverted: BROWN BROWN BROWN BROWN BROWN.
