Josiah Carberry shares family recipes

To the Editor:

Greetings and salutations, Brown scholars! It is I, esteemed Brunonian Professor of Psychoceramics, the one and only Josiah Stinkney Carberry. I offer contrition for neglecting the duties of lecture this most recent Friday the 13th. I was occupied with my most recent grandiloquent academic endeavor, an investigation of a Burmese terracotta saggar incunabulum. I am apprehensive that in my recent academic lucubration, I have developed into quite the bibliophagist (but of course, not literally – how delightfully absurd!)

But let not this oblique sesquipedalian invective and my apparent gadzookery lead you to vexations! My subject is gastronomical. Of course, I address that glorious paradigm of gratifying mastication known by the sobriquet of “spicy chicken sandwich,” either including or sans a solitary sliver of scrumptious American cheese! While the tandem of the chicken and beef Carberry (the veritable synarchy of flavor!) has consistently proven delectable, the following stands as an advantageous culinary proposal.

And now, my ultimate sophianic memorandum – I can barely withhold my surexcitation! From this moment forward, Jo’s must offer for procurement a “spicy chicken Carberry,” a succulent duplex of spicy chicken patties cradled by a tepid chignon!

Surely, such a selcouth sandwich should satiate sadogues and stave symptosis. Only the most insatiable of barathrums could estimate it deficient! I anticipate that the Brunonian dining synedrion will swith consider my supplication sophic.

Josiah CarberryProfessor of PsychoceramicsApril 1