I want to be shallow for a minute of your time today. Only a minute, though, because there are certainly more relevant and important sides to the argument of who will be America's next president than the one I wish to speak of today. But I think everyone has consciously or unconsciously thought to themselves about the looks of their favorite "politicos" and "politicas", considering whenever you turn on a television or read a newspaper, their face is gazing out at you. Which is why I'm not only voting for a "stronger tomorrow", but a hotter one.
Now, admittedly, the resemblance between John Kerry and former President John F. Kennedy is a bit of a stretch, but Kerry's got a strong jaw, sweet eyes, an excellent smile, and an age-old media ploy: really attractive, available daughters. Alexandra and Vanessa Kerry (not to mention the Heinz brothers, Chris and Andre) complete a rather urbane package Kerry is trying to sell America. With stunning, Northeastern good looks, obvious intelligence and often coquettish behavior, the Kerry Daughters represent this accessible pathway to their father for American voters. They humanize Kerry and evoke a clear distinction between the candidates - a distinction that can often be compared to pâté over prime ribs.
Alexandra Kerry, 31, came to the media forefront first at the Cannes Film Festival this summer, when under a bevy of igniting photographic bulbs, her already sheer dress became transparent. The French press quipped that now America had two new reasons to vote for Kerry. Oh, the French. Then there was the rumored romance with John Cusack at the Democratic National Convention, making "Lloyd Dobbler" jokes and Ione Skye comparisons inevitable. But even Us Weekly can't prove that one, and Alexandra is staying mum on such things. And she should, as the focus on Alexandra should be on her rather impressive and numerous successes.
Alexandra seems to be a painfully intelligent woman, graduating from Brown in 2002 and slowly becoming a recognized film director in her own right (she was at Cannes to promote her award-winning short film "The Last Full Measure") I can kind of imagine her being a MCM/Comp Lit/English major here at Brown, and having a boyfriend of three years, who helped her film a lauded "homage with an allegorical slant" to some tenebrous French director like Godard. It makes sense if you think about it hard enough.
Alexandra's little sister, Vanessa Kerry, 27, is the second half to the "Kerry Daughter package", with her blonde hair and uncanny resemblance to her father (take that however you may). Besides Vanessa being an obvious gifted med student (she attends Harvard Medical School, London School of Economics, and the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine), she's fluent in Italian, rumored to have had an affair with Ben Affleck mid-campaign trail (the Boston media penned them the new "Benessa"), and looks right at home in a Narciso Rodriguez gown in September's Vogue. The photo spread-though only one page, compared to the Bush twin's gratuitous sprawl in the August issue-features the sisters in statuesque gowns and up-dos. The article is a cute account of their relationship and the photo fabulous, but I guess what we learn from all their media attention is that there is truly a difference between collecting accomplishments and collecting D.U.I.s.
The Bush twins, Jenna and Barbara, are not my favorites, considering they used to attend Hockaday, my old, all-girls school in Dallas, Texas, and were rumored to beat up girls simply because (and this is a direct quote from one of their victims), their "daddy is the governor." I shudder.
Now every time I see the Bush twins on television or happen upon one of their pictures in a magazine, their images fuzz out and all I can see is their little bratty, pale fists pummeling my former Algebra II classmate in the stomach. Besides staying busy drinking tequila with P.Diddy in St. Tropez and admitting to the world that their parents call each other 'Bushy' (the connotations are endless, my friends), they are the new sex symbols for America's unironic preppie set. They apparently took the Republican National Convention "by storm" by referencing "Sex and the City," OutKast, and their "unhip" grandmother, Barabara Bush, in their speech, all while throwing in some arbitrary hair tosses, head cocks, and self-absorbed guffaws. I hate to be so judgmental, but how can I not? They represent the horrible outcome of old money, nepotism, and coke lines off a girlfriend's stomach in the bathroom.
However, I would like to end by saying that my vote for Kerry in November will not be inspired by his cute crows-feet wrinkles or sexy running mate, John Edwards, but by the fact that I trust these individuals. The faces of executive power for the past three years have been alienating, haunting, and tyrannical, and I refuse to be exposed to them any longer. No one's hot daughter is going to change that mentality, and besides, according to Larry Sabato, director of University of Virginia's Center of Politics, a candidate's children has an "absolute zero" impact on the vote, and our fascination with them is purely a guilty pleasure. But I will say this: Kerry saved Alexandra and Vanessa's hamster from drowning, while Bush left Jenna and Barbara's for dead. Foreshadowing, anyone?
Marjon Carlos '05 is holding a summit in Japan.
