Last fall, it felt as if I were the only person in New England rooting against the Red Sox.
When Keith Foulke flipped the ball to Doug Mientkiwicz for the final out of the World Series, I was the only person in the room upset that the Sox had finally gotten their long-awaited ring. Base-ball fans and non-baseball fans alike rejoiced around me, screaming, singing, crying.
"We did it!" they screamed. "The Curse is broken!" It went on all night. I felt sick.
I hate the Red Sox. The big payroll, the long hair, the stupid slogans, the idiocy of them all. I hate them as much as I hate the Yankees, perhaps even more. At least I respect the Yankees. They are a classy organization, full of history, and owner George Steinbrenner gives his fans what they want. They are also good for baseball, uniting baseball fans of the 29 other teams under the pretense of Yankee bashing. We love to hate the Yankees. But I have no respect for the Red Sox. They are whiny, incompetent and, really, idiotic, among other things.
I have to admit that I harbor some personal animosity toward the Red Sox. As an Oakland A's fan, I was devastated when the Sox beat them in the 2003 American League Divisional Series. I was also upset by their attempts to woo A's General Manager Billy Beane and their outbidding of the A's for closer Keith Foulke. (I'm convinced the A's would have made the playoffs last year if they had had Foulke.)
Here are a few more reasons why I hate the Red Sox.
1. The payroll. Last autumn, I was amazed at how much support the Sox got from baseball fans everywhere. It seems as if everybody whose own team wasn't in the playoffs was rooting for the Sox. "It's time to break the Curse," they said. "We gotta cheer for the underdogs."
Hold up there. Underdogs? The Boston Red Sox? Sure, they've blown their share of very important games over the past 87 years, but with the second highest payroll in baseball last season, I don't think they can be considered underdogs.
The core of the 2004 championship team, for example, is built of free agents: Manny Ramirez, David Ortiz, Johnny Damon, Curt Schilling, Pedro Martinez, Keith Foulke and Bill Mueller. And this off-season, the Sox went out and paid $10 million for Edgar Renteria. With the exception of Mueller and Ortiz, all of these players have big contracts that few other teams can afford. What ever happened to having homegrown players?
It still amazes me how much Red Sox Nation whines when the Yankees acquire a player like Alex Rodriguez or Randy Johnson. Sox fans always seem to paint themselves as victims of the Yankees' loose pockets, but the Red Sox spend more than the clubs with the five lowest payrolls combined. Hypocrites.
2. Fenway Park ticket prices. When I saw that the A's were playing a series at Fenway Park this spring, I quickly checked the Red Sox Web site and was about to buy the tickets when I saw something that made me let out an audible and unusually high-pitched gasp.
The price for one ticket was $45. For a section called the Right Field Roof. That was the cheapest ticket I could find for the game. I decided at that moment that I didn't want to spend $45 on a section with "Roof" in the name.
Red Sox tickets are the most expensive in the majors, with an average price of $40.77. That still seems ridiculous when you consider that you can get into an A's game for $2 on Wednesdays.
Why do the Red Sox charge so much? Because they can. With a small ballpark and a wealthy, zealous fan base, they sell out every game effortlessly. But where is the love for the poor college student such as myself, and in Boston of all places?
3. Johnny Damon. I used to like him and the cool attitude he brought to the A's in 2001, but that was before his .256 batting average for the season. Before the four-year, $31 million deal with the Red Sox. Before the hair. Before the DHL and Verizon ads. Before the book. Most likely, before he made poor Peter Golenbock write the book.
4. Curt Schilling. I admit, the bloodied sock showed determination. The guy is nails, or at least had several of them in his ankle. But can't he ever shut up? Who ever nominated him to be baseball's spokesman, anyway? What a jerk.
5. Derek Lowe. I was at Game 5 of the 2003 American Divisional Series. I watched Terrence Long strike out looking to end the game and, with tears in my eyes, watched Lowe grab his crotch and made several grinding motions towards the A's dugout. Granted, Lowe is now off the team, but still, it takes a lot of effort to make a grown man cry. He also cheated on his wife with a Fox Sports reporter. Enough said.
6. "Cowboy Up." This was the slogan the Red Sox used to motivate themselves during the 2003 playoffs. What the hell do cowboys have to do with Boston or the Red Sox? Just stupid.
7. Kevin Millar. He started the hair thing, the rally karaoke video and every stupid Red Sox slogan in the past few years, including the current one, which is "#&@! Everybody, All We Have Is Each Other."
8. Jimmy Fallon and Ben Affleck. So you take a wonderful novel about one man's obsession with the Arsenal soccer team and you turn it into a movie about the Red Sox ... starring Jimmy Fallon? Somewhere, Nick Hornby is crying.
And what is the deal with Fox Sports and its obligatory 15 minutes of Ben Affleck and his fiancée-of-the-moment coverage at Red Sox games?
9. General ineptitude. Despite the World Series title, the Red Sox of late are no strangers to incompetence. In 2002 the Red Sox wooed A's General Manager Billy Beane and had him as GM for a day ... before he had second thoughts. Last year, the Sox practically had Alex Rodriguez coming to Boston ... until the deal fell through because the Sox wanted to cut his pay. And let's not forget about the bad terms on which Nomar Garciaparra left, and the continuing feud between Manny Ramirez and the front office.
I'm happy that lifelong Red Sox fans finally got to see their team win a World Series after 86 years. Cheers to them. But the Red Sox have had their fun and should put it behind them. I hope they choke down the stretch. And it wouldn't hurt to see Affleck bawling like a baby.
Senior staff writer Stu Woo '08 has been known to let out unusually high-pitched gasps for more than just high ticket prices.
