The yellow banners advertising this year's World Cup greeted me as I arrived at the airport in Berlin, where I spent my spring break, and I didn't stop seeing them as I made my way to my downtown hostel through subways and bus lines. Billboards advertised cell phone plans with the aid of larger-than-life German soccer stars, and every single store was selling "Weltmeisterschaft 2006," memorabilia, from jerseys to beer mugs to plush lions named Goleo, the official mascot of the games. I pictured the streets of Germany's capital filled with drunk fans, because in less than two month's time, Berlin would become the focus of sports fans from every country in the world.
Every country in the world, that is, except the United States.
America is the land of the three-run homer, the fade-away jumper and the Hail Mary pass, not the corner kick, the yellow card or the offsides trap. Few Americans, save a handful of young mothers in suburban California, have entertained such absurd thoughts. Even fewer know when this year's World Cup will take place, whom the Americans are playing in the preliminary round and what the names of the three key U.S. players are.
(In case you're wondering, the World Cup takes place from June 9 to July 9; the Americans have a tough draw in Group E against three-time champion Italy and physical Ghana, as well as the Czech Republic and three key players are Claudio Reyna, a midfielder and the squad's captain who has battled injury problems, Landon Donovan, one of the world's premiere strikers and goalkeeper Kasey Keller).
It's not as if American sports have being doing so well lately. Baseball is bloated with steroid problems, and Team U.S.A. was embarrassed at the World Baseball Classic. The NBA is full of ball-hogging, brick-shooting prima donnas who, when assembled, can't win even a silver medal in the Olympics. Even the NFL, the nation's best-run sports league, barely averted self-destruction last month when it coerced the players' union to agree to new collective bargaining agreement at the last minute. Hockey didn't have a season last year (but did anyone notice - or care?) and at the Winter Olympics in Turin, good-girl Michelle Kwan and bad-boy Bode Miller proved that hype alone cannot win Olympic medals.
The only positive thing that has happened to American sports this past year is the George Mason basketball team, the No. 11 seed from Fairfax, Va., that made it to the NCAA Tournament's Final Four, warming the hearts of millions and evoking the image of the American Dream. But alas, the University of Florida, the perennial football and basketball powerhouse, quickly crushed that dream by destroying the scrappy Patriots en route to the national title.
So why can't we embrace football - the real football?
The United States could sure use a distraction right now. The country is politically polarizing itself, and, at the same time, those on the left and right are becoming disgruntled with the follies of our president and the seemingly endless war in Iraq. Politics is entering baseball, as the feds are gearing themselves up to investigate steroids and Barry Bonds. And while the NBA is an exciting league, no one really wants to sit through the ridiculously long playoffs. So why not forget about the troubles of our country and, for at least a month this summer, cheer for the red, white and blue as they perform on sport's biggest stage?
There are a couple of reasons that won't happen. As one theory states, soccer is un-American, and nobody in the States, especially with today's political climate, wants to be labeled as anti-American (and with good reason - just look at what just happened to France). But if you glance at the three most-popular sports in the United States - football, baseball and basketball - a common theme appears. All three of those sports are American-born and bred, conceived by three great, dead white males. It is only natural for Americans to follow a homegrown sport for the sake of cultural identity. (In addition, modern soccer is said to have been born in England, and, as shown by the American Revolution, us Yanks aren't too fond of most things English.)
But I personally don't buy into that theory. A simpler one is that soccer is simply boring to Americans. The Simpsons illustrated that point perfectly a few years ago in an episode in which the animated family attended a soccer game between Mexico and Portugal. As three Mexican players passed the ball between themselves at midfield, Springfield residents stampeded for the exits less than a minute into the game, sparking riots that eventually spread throughout town.
I try to avoid stereotypes, to varying degrees of success, but I think there is truth to the belief that most Americans have some minor form of attention deficit disorder. Americans - distracted by politics and technology - can only digest things in short, concentrated spurts, which is why football and baseball have become so popular. Basketball has managed to succeed because of constant scoring, and hockey has checking and fistfights, two American staples. I can understand why many would be reluctant to watch 90 minutes of a game where absolutely nothing happens - as in the case of a 0-0 tie.
Oh, and ties. Americans hate ties.
Campus Watch Editor Stu Woo '08 wears a tie to The Herald everyday.
