Given the extraordinary attention paid to Sex Power God and other so-called debauched events at Brown as of late, it seems only proper that we take time to properly salute an outspoken sect now emerging on campus - prudes.
In order to get a little context, I consulted the only reliable source I know: UrbanDictionary.com. From what I can discern, the word prude dates back to the pre-revolutionary French term "prod femmes," meant to describe proud, wise and virtuous women. In more modern times, it has been reincarnated as an insult used, more often than not, by men who are shocked that a woman won't have sex with them.
But on Brown's campus, a true prude movement has manifested itself, most notably in the provocative discourse regarding Sex Power God. Before this hoopla, I associated prudish beliefs with Puritans, Michael Savage, Tammy Faye Baker and the Reverend Shaw Moore from "Footloose." After all, it was Moore who so virtuously reminded us: "These dances and this kind of music can be destructive. If our Lord wasn't testing us, how would you account for the proliferation, these days, of this obscene rock and roll music, with its gospel of easy sexuality and relaxed morality?"
But now, after seeing the conservative response to Sex Power God, I'm starting to wonder if we're turning into prudes ourselves. Ben Bernstein '09, in his critique of Queer Alliance's dance ("Sex Power - Stop," Nov. 2) argues that the dance encourages an environment where "attendees start dancing, hooking up and engaging in sexual activity on and around the dance floor." Don't get me wrong, but why is this problem associated with Sex Power God in particular? If we're discussing booze, dancing and indiscriminate romance, then shouldn't we kick each and every party that promotes these "immoral" behaviors off campus?
If I were Jonathan Swift and this was a modern day "Modest Proposal," I'd make a proposal of my own - let's ban parties altogether. Think about it - parties are the root of all evil, especially if Sean Quigley '10 is to be believed. Though he was specifically referencing Sex Power God when he described it as the "Vomitorium Part 2" in an Oct. 27 post on the Brown Spectator's blog, Quigley could just have easily been in the first floor Thete bathroom after the 80s party when he devised that clever euphemism. He wages war on the manner in which all parties "encourage a type of gratuitous indulgence, the ultimate result of which is a societal meltdown."
Are booze, sex and dancing (the ultimate gratuitous indulgences) really ruining our spiritual well-being? I can't help but remark that this argument is anything but original. In the 1920s, Dr. Francis Clark, the founder and president of the Christian Endeavor Society, declared that modern "indecent dance" was "impure, polluting, corrupting, debasing, destroying spirituality, increasing carnality." This was followed in 1984 by Footloose's Moore, who declared that he "... would have a lot of difficulty endorsing an enterprise (so) fraught with genuine peril. Besides the liquor and the drugs which always seem to accompany such an event ... spiritual corruption can be involved."
We face a crossroads here in our beloved Rhode Island enclave, just like the town of Beaumont, Iowa, before Kevin Bacon showed up in his skinny tie and Chuck Taylors and taught John Lithgow to lighten up a little. Are we going to jump the shark and begin canceling parties under the misguided notion that parties cause drinking, drinking causes sex and sex is morally wrong?
Ultimately, prude logic falls as flat as a nun at an S&M convention. It would be heresy for us to let the return of the prudish faction ruin the fun for everyone else. There's no "societal meltdown," and this isn't an issue of apocalyptic proportions. At the end of the day, if they don't want to come to our sinfully decadent parties, they don't have to. We've survived the Charleston, Elvis' pelvis, Madonna's cone bra and the Benga Bus - who's to say we can't all benefit from a little 21st century debauchery?
Courtney Jenkins '07 can go step for step with Kevin Bacon.
