I thought it was time to connect on a more personal level with my readers, so I turned to electronic mail. Let's see what you had to ask.
Dear Tru Story,
I wondered, since you're a New Yorker and all, what the Brown equivalent of the New York Knicks would be?
- Matt, New York
The people who run the Ratty, bless their souls, clearly hope that with enough quantity of food, people might not realize that none of the options are actually any good. Nor is there any logic behind the array of foods that they put together.
This reminds me a lot of the Knicks. You just know that the Knicks brass thinks if it adds enough well-known guys to the roster that, first, people won't realize that every single player on the roster actually sucks (for example, Ratty hot dogs, burgers, pasta, cereal, salad and pizza), while ignoring that the team has zero chemistry and guys like Stephon Marbury clearly can't play with Steve Francis (much like watered powder-eggs and shady syrup do not go together).
The analogy ends with hope for the future, where the Ratty has a decided advantage over the once proud Knickerbocker franchise.
Dear Tru Story,
Do you steal lines from movies in your columns? Tell me the truth.
- Mark, Indianapolis
You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!
Dear Tru Story,
In your NBA preview you predicted that the Orlando Magic would contend for a playoff spot this year and that the Heat would fall apart around an aging roster. Can you predict other things ... like maybe about girls, maybe?
- Bart, New York
I think you might be the Kevin Garnett of Brown - a talented young prodigy, but without anyone around you to maximize your potential and a terrible supporting cast that makes you look worse than you are. This will eventually result in a 2007 trade for draft picks, cash considerations and P.J. Brown to make the salaries match under the current collective bargaining agreement.
Dear Tru Story,
What's your take on the Red Sox paying $51 million for the rights to negotiate with Daisuke Matsukaka? Seems like a lot of money just to talk.
- Helena, New Jersey
If you thought that was crazy, word on the street is that consolation prize, Japanese pitcher Kei Igawa, fetched a winning bid of $25 million from the Yankees. I'm thinking about posting my brother for some extra cash.
I think that when people reflect on the 2006 off-season, Boston's move will be viewed as among the smartest. It's not often that staff aces in their mid-20s become available. Super agent Scott Boras has zero leverage in his negotiations with Boston, and it's looking increasingly likely that the Seibu Lions will end up paying a portion of final contract to ensure they don't walk away empty-handed.
One thing is certain, however: The long time false perception that the Sox are among Major League Baseball's underdogs is finally gone. Boston's management will never again be allowed to whine about the Yankees' payroll now that they out-muscled the entire league by about $20 million.
Dear Tru Story,
Why is everyone so down on Barry Zito? The guy won a Cy Young Award.
- Sarah, Philadelphia
Sarah, remember when "The Simpsons" was the best show on TV five years ago? Things have changed since 2002 when Zito was dominant. Even then he didn't have good command, but now he throws at 84-87 mph. With Zito you know what you're getting: a durable, dependable third starter (1.40 WHIP this year). The problem is, he'll be paid like an ace.
Tom Trudeau '09 doesn't have enough friends to take any more e-mails.
