A capella: An oversubscribed on-campus vocal activity. If you live near the Wayland or Mo-Champ arches, you might want to invest in soundproofing for your room.
A.B.: Everyone else calls it a B.A., but we know that's Absolute Bullshit. Their degrees, not ours, that is.
A.B.-Sc.B.: The five-year program that will get you two - count 'em, two! - degrees before you leave. Remember, though, that one of them is Absolute Bullshit.
ADOCH: A Day on College Hill. A lot of you probably came to this spring event right after acceptance letters went out. We eschew homework for a day and throw parties unusually large for Tuesday nights. This is not necessarily indicative of life at Brown...
Annmary Brown Memorial: The creepy building next door to Health Services is an actual tomb. With dead bodies.
Arrr: Pirate a cappella. Sea shanties never had it so good.
Banner: The new computerized student record system that replaced Brown's venerable pink-and-white course registration forms. The interface makes AOL dial-up circa 1996 look like an iPhone. LOL.
Berman, Chris '77 P'08: "Boomer" is one of ESPN's most visible and popular stars, for those not "in the know." He concentrated in history at Brown and got his broadcasting start covering baseball for WBRU-AM. (See BSR.)Binder, Dave: A Spring Weekend tradition. He sings mediocre but endearing covers of bachelorette party favorites to hordes of drunken Brown students every year. (See Spring Weekend.)
Blue Room, The: Brown's version of Blue State Coffee - only, all the proceeds go to Brown Dining Services. It's great for a bagel or equal exchange coffee between classes. They take only flex points and cash, so Daddy's credit card isn't good here.
BOLT: Brown Outdoor Leadership Training is a unique opportunity to simultaneously learn how to tie a trucker's hitch, avoid the sophomore slump and bury your poop with a trowel. Five days in the White Mountains of New Hampshire with nine total strangers, and apparently, people don't hook up.
Brown Band: They make your high school marching band look like a military troupe. Sure they use profanity and their uniforms have "flair," but they can march on ice!
Brown Daily Herald, The: The finest independent student newspaper in this fair Republic. Published since 1866, daily since 1891, The Brown Daily Herald is financially and editorially independent from the University and is always looking for new talent.
Brown Democrats: Founded by alum JFK Jr. '83. As elections approach, membership swells.
Brown Republicans: They could once all fit in a Perkins triple, but are a growing and increasingly vocal presence on campus.
BSR: Brown Student Radio, WELH 88.1 FM. WBRU-FM's estranged hipster cousin broadcasts in the evenings, six days a week. The signal doesn't really reach into most Brown dorms (they're that underground, yo), so you're better off listening on their Web site. (See WBRU.)
BTV: Brown Television, home of elaborate student-made comedies and infinite re-runs of "Mean Girls." Relish the two hours a week when there's sound.
BuDS: Brown University Dining Services tries with pumpkin carving competitions and theme days to be as adorable as its acronym. Also, inventors of the infamous Polynesian Ratatouille.
Bus Tunnel, The: Technically the "Rumford Bus Tunnel." It goes through College Hill (literally), from next to Starbucks to the intersection of Waterman and North Main streets. Don't try walking through the tunnel. Just don't. Trust us.
Buxton: International House tucked away on Wriston Quad. Starving artist types from RISD have been known to look through their garbage, but other than tight jeans and cigarette butts, we're not sure what else you'd find there. Did we mention the blaring techno?
Cable Car, The: Just down College Hill, the Cable Car doubles as a cafe and cinema showing great independent and foreign films. Plus, it has loveseats.
Campaign: Brown's crusade for the minds, hearts and cold, hard cash of your parents, your grandparents and your great-aunt in West Palm Beach. Also known as "Boldly Brown."
Campus Market, The: Small venue stashed underneath the Blue Room and clearinghouse of elderly frozen burritos and ginger beer, as well as gum, Nutter Butters and paper towels. Staffed entirely by student workers, the Campus Market has a 32 percent chance of having what you're looking for. But they take Flex Points.
Carberry, Josiah: Brown's legendary professor of psychoceramics (the study of cracked pots). He only exists on Friday the 13th. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise. He also has the only double chicken patty sandwich available at a Rhode Island fast food restaurant named after him. (See Jo's)
Carter, Amy: We know President Jimmy Carter's daughter attended Brown. We know she didn't graduate. The facts end there.
Cianci, Vincent a.k.a. "Buddy": The renowned, longest-serving former mayor of Providence just got out of the slammer. First elected in 1974, he resigned in 1984 after pleading no contest to assaulting his wife's lover with a fireplace log, hosted a radio show for a few years, was then reelected in 1990 - until he was convicted of federal crimes in 2002. Legend has it Buddy used to ride up to Brown frat parties on a white horse during his first term. He could often be seen playing cymbals with the Brown Band at football games.
Cicilline, David '83: Providence's gay, Jewish, Italian mayor who's also a Brown alum. He's trying to separate City Hall from its corrupt past (see Cianci, Vincent). First elected in 2002 and re-elected in 2006.
CIT: The Thomas J. Watson Center for Information Technology. If you don't have a printer, you'll be spending a lot of time here. But only $30 worth of time.
College Hill: The vantage point from which you look down upon the residents of Providence - literally, but hopefully not metaphorically. Fairly difficult to walk up, worse when riding a bike. Especially during winter.
College Hill Independent: College Hill's weekly news rag, but more importantly the Herald's chief kickball competitor. They certainly know how to shake their HIPS and STIR up controversy.
Concentration: In the rest of the world, this is called a "major."
Corporation: In October, February and May, the cabal of rich men and women who really run Brown meet in Sayles to decide our future. You don't know who the members of the Brown Corporation are, and that's probably just how they like it.
CPR: 1. Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation. 2. Course Performance Report, a narrative evaluation of your performance in a class. You can request one of those from any professor, either in addition to a letter grade, or to supplement an "S" in an S/NC class. (See S/NC)
Credit/Meal Credit: Getting into Brown is only half the intellectual battle. It's not in your upper-level bio classes that you'll meet your greatest mental challenge; rather, it's in deciding how to purchase food on campus most effectively. The exchange rate for meal credits is one credit to $5.20.
Dating: If you live in Perkins, you might not date your unitmates, but you are statistically doomed to marry one of them. The rest of you are just doomed.
Due Date: It is always flexible. Even when the professor swears otherwise. (See Extension)
EMS: EMS stands for Emergency Medical Services. It also stands for Eastern Mountain Sports. Call the wrong one and instead of getting a stomach pump, you'll be getting a thermos and a GPS system to help you stumble home.
Endowment, small: The reason behind most of the University's financial problems ... in bed.
Extension: You will most likely ask for at least one of these in your time at Brown. Make up a good reason, and you'll probably get it, too. Even when the professor says at the beginning of the year that he or she never gives extensions. (See due date).
Facebook.com: Making stalking easier than ever. Most of you first-years probably went through most of high school using it. Freaks.
Federal Hill: Providence's "Little Italy," they like to say. Since it's only really one street (Atwells Avenue), it means you can get great pasta, delicious cannoli and vengeance for your brother's murder all in one place.
Fish Co: The off-campus bar with a Brown night. No fish, but alcohol if you're legal - or look it.
First-years: Everybody else calls them "freshmen."
First-year seminars: Take one while you can, you lucky bastards.
Frank '42, Sidney E.: Liquor magnate associated with Grey Goose, Jagermeister and sexual harassment lawsuits. He only studied here for one year, but after he gave more than $100 million for financial aid and the Life Sciences building (which bears his name), the University retroactively gave him his degree.
Fraternity: These might be considered cool ... at some other schools.
Frisc: Unveiled in January, the Friedman Study Center is a 24-hour haven for procrastinators, housed in the basement of the SciLi.
Front Green: Also, Quiet Green. A good place for reading or making out on pleasant days.
Gate, the: The couch-infested rec room of Pembroke Campus. Simply okay pizza becomes stellar when you can buy it with meal credit instead of actual money.
GCB: The Graduate Center Bar, an actual bar buried in the basement of Grad Center. A good place to go on a weeknight to split a pitcher of beer and a game of pool. It's $20 to become a member, but if you're an illegal young'un you'll have to stick to Fish Co.
Graduate Center: Grad Center has the appeal of a sterile, riot-proof bunker - but without the sterility. Home to many of Brown's sophomores, this four-building sprawl has been plaguing the campus aesthetic since it was constructed, or by some accounts, assembled, from Lincoln Logs. The only valuable thing about this structure is the land it is currently devaluing.
E. Gordon Gee Lavatory Complex: For the past two Spring Weekends, a sign has graced a bunch of Port-a-Potties to commemorate Brown's shortest-tenured president. It is the only thing named after him on campus. Ever.
Gut: An easy class. A really easy class. If you're looking for more free time (or just like geology), take one of these.
Housing lottery: It's a lot better now than it used to be. Trust us.
Hutchings-Votey Organ: Located in Sayles, it's the largest one in the world! We suspect there are only three H-V organs in the world.
IMP: 1. International Mentoring Program to help first-year international students adjust to studying and living in the United States. 2. The wee folk who work long into the night in the bowels of the Ratty to make us delicious "magic bars." (See magic bars)
Infant Lab: Involving babies and research, it's in the basement of the old Metcalf Chemistry Lab, across from the greenhouse, and oddly suspicious.
Inside Brown: The University's equivalent of your grandmother's Christmas newsletter.
IPTV: We can watch TV on our computers now. But we can still complain that there are too few channels. It'll replace regular cable someday.
Ivy League: Now that you're in the Ivy League, some may get you to start thinking we have rivalries with schools like Harvard and Yale. They are wrong. Harvard and Yale have a rivalry with each other in which they all wear white, frequently poke each other in the chest and make bar graph comparisons of their endowments. Cornell is the most dubious member, and we are the best.
Jo's: Technically "Josiah's," the snack bar of choice for residents south of the Main Green. Located on the ground floor of New Dorm A, it's the home of wraps, snacks, and fried foods - especially the Carberry. Mmmmm.
John Hay, the: One of those very collegiate libraries in which you feel like you shouldn't touch anything. The Hay has many rare collections and is home to the Anne S.K. Brown Military Collection of toy soldiers and the University Archives, for you Brown history buffs.
Jolt, the Daily: You probably already know about the Daily Jolt, Brown's own little Craigslist on training wheels. So instead, we'll give you a few points to ponder next time you're obsessively hitting the "refresh" button on the forum: Are the professor quotes real? Who are those cretins in the forums? Do they even go to Brown?
Kennedy, John Fitzgerald '83: We're glad he broke the family trend of Harvard attendance. Yes, he kept a pig in his dorm.
Leung Gallery: Pronounced "lee-ung." The big gallery above The Blue Room, on the third floor of Faunce. Sometimes home to ballroom dancing practice.
Lincoln Field: The green between Sayles and Thayer Street. The upper section is perfect for studying, while the lower part is often the site of football and Frisbee games. After World War II, it was the site of the Veteran's College. Before that, it was a swamp.
LiSci: The steel behemoth between main campus and Pembroke Campus became the Sidney E. Frank Hall for the Life Sciences last year. The Walk will someday run through it. And maybe the naked doughnut run too. (See Naked Doughnut Run).
Loui's: A restaurant you will inevitably discover at 5 a.m., and hopefully you'll remember it, too.
Magaziner, Ira '69 P'06 P'07 P'10: The New Curriculum was his brainchild while he was an undergraduate. Now he's the mastermind behind the Clinton Foundation.
Magic bars: One of the few delicious deserts at the Ratty. Not to be confused with a similar concoction baked by naughty upperclassmen during Spring Weekend.
Main Green: If you haven't figured out where this is, go home.
Manning Walk: The beautiful walkway from Soldier's Arch through Sciences Park up to Barus and Holley.
Meiklejohn: Pronounced like "nickel-john," but with an "M." Alexander Meiklejohn was a professor of philosophy. Meiklejohns are now the upperclass counselors who dish straight truth about anything you need to know about academics at Brown.
MCM: The Department of Modern Culture and Media, also the kickball roster for the College Hill 'Dependent. But no smoking allowed inside.
MPC: Minority Peer Counselor. The counselors who are specially trained to advise first-year students on minority issues. They are assisted by MPC Friends.
Naked Doughnut Run: On the last night of reading period, dedicated scholars in the Absolute Quiet Room in the Rock and in the Sci Li get a special treat: doughnuts! Made doubly delicious by the awkward nudes that hand them to you.
New Curriculum: This is what allows you take whatever classes you want, and what allows you potentially to have zero grades when you graduate. It's 35 years old, but we still call it new. Go figure. (See New Dorm.)
New Dorm: Not so new anymore, the former Thayer Street quad is officially called Vartan Gregorian Quad. The two buildings contain upperclassmen suites, often coveted living space for juniors. Building A is home to Josiah's, a campus snack bar, and the Donald L. Saunders '57 Family Inn at Brown.
9 a.m.: Too early for class. Don't even ask about AB hour (That's Absolute Bullshit too).
Ninjas: Believe it or not, 18- to 22-year-olds dress up in hokey costumes and terrorize unsuspecting freshman. (See Arrr). OMAC: Olney-Margolies Athletic Center. Where you go to try to keep off the "freshman 15." Your high school gym had more and better equipment. But the satellite gyms in Keeney and Emery halls and the one in Grad center will ease the crunch of overgrown athletes keeping you off machines in the OMAC.
Orientation: Used to be a week. Is now shorter or much longer, depending on how you look at. Enjoy this while it lasts. Being overscheduled will never be this relaxing again.
Orwig: Underused but beautiful music library; only open until 10 p.m.
Pacifica House: A society so secret you can visit their Web site.
Page 2: Post-'s most widely read page, because it features a nearly-naked guy and girl getting their 15 minutes of fame.
Parking Space: Something you'll never find in Providence, anywhere.
Patriot's Court: An extension of Wriston Quad. A bit quieter, in theory. Otherwise unremarkable.
Pawtucket: A city bordering Providence, which is pronounced PUHtucket not PAWtucket. The locals tend to get rabid if you say it wrong. The movie "Outside Providence" took place here.
Pembroke: The northern part of Brown's campus used to be Pembroke College, an all-female coordinate to Brown. The official merge occurred in 1970, though under-the-table sexiling had been going on for years. Legend has it that if you walk over the seal on the steps leading up to the college, your next sexual encounter will result in impregnation. Or you'll meet the person you're supposed to marry here at Brown. Or both. We can't remember.
Perkins: 1. A beloved pancake restaurant that has not yet made it east of New York. 2. A first-year dorm that is nearly as far away as the nearest Perkins Restaurant. We hope you guys brought mopeds.
Plan for Academic Enrichment: Ruth's vaguely sinister-sounding plan to ensure that your kids have a better Brown experience than you.
PLME: Brown's Program in Liberal Medical Education lets you go straight into the Medical School without ever taking the MCATs. Only available to students admitted to PLME.
Post-: The Herald's witty, interesting, and beautifully designed arts and entertainment magazine. Post- includes music, film, theater and dining reviews, interviews and scintillating feature stories. It comes out in The Herald every Thursday.
Power Street Garage: One of the only parking locations for students, located on Power Street between Thayer and Brook streets.
ProJo: The Providence Journal. Rhode Island's largest daily newspaper. They get very excited when big things happen in this tiny state. It's not exactly The New York Times, but it's cute that the ProJo recycles all the Times' stories, anyway.
Providence Place Mall: One of the crowning achievements of the previous mayoral administration (see Cianci, Vincent), this sprawling shopping center provides almost everything you need in a 15-minute walk from campus. As long as everything you need can be found at chain stores, a multiplex and a food court.
Queer Alliance: The current name of the LGBT student organization. One of the most visible student groups on campus, it focuses on making Brown a more positive space for queer students by providing a variety of education and social programming. And one or two huge, risqué, highly publicized parties that are sometimes attended by Fox News producers (for the totally clueless, yes, we mean Sex Power God).
Ratty: "The Sharpe Refectory." According to legend, the full name got shortened to "Rat Factory," and lazy Brown students took the name a step farther. It has road signs for easy navigation, but watch out for bottlenecks and congestion. Love it, it loves you.
RC: 1. The black sheep of the cola family. 2. "Resident Counselor," the dedicated individual who will guide you through Orientation, help you adjust to college life, and give you free condoms, then persuade you not to vomit on yourself (or your roommate) after your first trip to Wriston Quad.
Reading period: Ten days off between when classes end and final exams begin. You're supposed to finish up your work but you'll end up going to classes your professors refused to cancel.
Registrar: Michael Pesta. Nice guy. Hopefully, thanks to the new computerized system for course registration (See Banner), the office won't take a week to process your course selections or confuse your registration at least four times while you're here.
Rhode Island: Officially the State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations. Lil' Rhody is the smallest state in the nation with the longest name, and your home now.
RIPTA: The bus. You can ride it for free now!
RISD: Rhode Island School of Design. Brown students can, at least in theory, take advantage of classes at RISD, but the lack of storage space and RISD's wildly different schedule hinders most Brown students from heading halfway down College Hill. But those who make it into classes at RISD find them well worth the trouble.
Rock, The: The John D. Rockefeller Jr. Library. The main humanities library on campus where students spend more time hitting the books than they ever thought possible, probably more because they get lost in the cryptic, dimly lit stacks than because they're motivated. Bathroom-wall graffiti from this building propagated a serious anti-sexual harassment movement a few years back, so respect it. Be warned of the ear-piercing, closing-time bell - if you're there to hear it, you've been working too long.
Roommate contract: This document governs your interactions with your bunkmate-to-be and lays down important ground rules concerning his or her interactions with others. Sounds positively Big Brother, but can make a difference in your life if you take the time to look at it, fill it out, sign it and turn it in. (See Sexile.)
Sc.B.: Everyone else calls it a B.S. , and that's why those degrees are Bull Shit. (See A.B.).
S/NC: The option to take any class "Pass/Fail." One of the beauties of the New Curriculum. (See New Curriculum).
SciLi, The: The Sciences Library. Fourteen stories, color-coded according to the pH system, of books primarily in foreign languages. You're supposed to have sex on the 13th floor before you graduate (we hear there's a nice view of the city up there). The top of the SciLi is the highest point in the state of Rhode Island. Also home to the Friedman Study Center (see Frisc).
Seekonk: A beautifully trashy municipality directly across the border in Massachusetts, with three multiplexes, strip malls, suburban paranoia and every chain store you could ever need. Only 10 minutes away by car/cab.
Sexile: A merger of the words "exile" and "sex." What happens if you have a roommate who wants to invite a special friend over to spend the night. You end up sleeping on the floor in the lounge. If you even have one.
Simmons, Ruth: Brown's 18th president and the first black president of an Ivy League school. She has a cult-like following among students and her Plan for Academic Enrichment will give this year's first-years everything we never had. (See Campaign.)
Spoons: The Assassins-type game every freshman unit ends up playing. You can identify first-years for several weeks because they're carrying around plasticware.
Spring Weekend: In a good year, the much-ballyhooed Spring Weekend means big-name bands playing on our very own Main Green, couches on Wriston, lots of drinking and canoodling. It was outside for the first time in a few years this spring, so expect rain this year.
Stadium: It's over a mile away. Isn't that a bit ridiculous? Also where poor, poor sophomores used to get stuck parking, until these spaces were eliminated, preventing them from parking altogether. Ha ha.
Stockpot: This monthly newsletter from BuDS is perhaps the only campus publication to rival The Brown Daily Herald in journalistic ambition and integrity.
SunLab: Located on the first floor of the CIT, the SunLab is filled with Sun workstations for computer science students. Good luck trying to get a computer on the night before a big project is due. Or Friday and Saturday night, for that matter.
T.A.: Teaching Assistant. They teach some intro-level language classes, as well as some courses in math and other departments. Some are helpful. Some are useless. Some will end up dating your roommate.
Thayer Street: Serving as the DMZ between Brown and its real-world neighbors, this avenue was formerly home to a plethora of eclectic shops and a roving motorcycle gang. Now it's a glorified food court. But Chipotle is coming soon!
Tom & Tom: The "Juice Guys" of Nantucket Nectars fame are indeed dedicated Brown alums. Tom Scott started a TV network two years ago called Plum TV that broadcasts only in upscale vacation spots, and one of the two Toms comes back every year to talk to Professor Barret Hazeltine's management classes.
Trolley, The: A bus disguised to look like a trolley, run by RIPTA, which goes from Thayer Street to Kennedy Plaza and Federal Hill.
Turner, Ted: Started his college career at Brown before getting thrown out for (depending on whom you believe) either poor grades or "fraternizing" with a female student back when those things were against the rules, wink wink. And look at him now!
UCS: The Undergraduate Council of Students, which tries really, really hard to be an effective student governing body.
Underground, The: An on-campus bar, located in Faunce House. It used to be easy for under-21s to get drinks here, but after an administrative crackdown and an unpleasant debacle involving local high school students, there's not much of a reason to go here instead of the GCB. During the week, it's the Hourglass Cafe, where proceeds go to Oxfam. Not open a lot.
Unitcest: A merger of the words "unit" and "incest." It's when you hook up with someone in your unit. Yep, this is why "It's Complicated" exists on Facebook.
University Hall: Come here to meet with deans or visit Ruth during her office hours. The oldest building on campus, it's on the National Register of Historic Places, and at least one slave contributed to its construction.
Van Wickle Gates: So important that they're only open twice a year.
V-Dub: The Verney-Woolley Dining Hall. The junior member of Brown's dining halls, it's smaller, more intimate, and features a Now That's What I Call Music! soundtrack.
Watson Institute: The Thomas J. Watson Jr. Center for International Studies. Home of the International Relations concentration and world-renowned research. Former Rhode Island senator Lincoln Chafee '75 and former ambassador to the United Nations and Herald Editor-In-Chief Richard Holbrooke '62 are fellows here.
WBRU: 95.5 FM, one of the largest radio stations in southern New England and the oldest college radio station in America. Run entirely by Brown students. Purported to be "the original alt-rock." We're not arguing.
Wickenden Street and Wayland Square: These are two other commercial districts within walking distance that aren't Brown-related. Wickenden is famous for its head shops, pubs and an exotic accessories store. Wayland is known for its bookstores. Pick your poison. Or mix and match.
Williams, Roger: Founder of this great state, proponent of religious freedom, and now a giant statue in Prospect Park.
Wood, Gordon: A Brown professor, Pulitzer prizewinner, well-known in the field of American history. Spring 2008 is slated to be his last teaching on campus, so enroll in his Era of the American Revolution class as soon as preregistration rolls around. Referenced in "Good Will Hunting" during the bar scene with the Harvard jerk, when Will says, "That'll last until sometime in your second year, then you'll be in here regurgitating Gordon Wood about the Pre-revolutionary utopia and the capital-forming effects of military mobilization."
Writing Fellows: Writing Fellows suck the pain out of throwing together a paper the night before it's due by labeling said effort a "draft," and requiring that it be "edited" by a fellow student with "superior" writing talent.
ZipCar: Short-term rental cars available in the Minden lot, as long as you're over 18. Kind of lame-looking but actually pretty useful. And no, that ID you use to get into Fish Co won't work.
