The year 1995 will always have a special place in my heart. That's right, in '95, my little eight-year-old self was blessed with Billy Madison, Angus and The Big Green. Oh, and of course it was also the last time the Red Sox won the AL East. I still remember rolling up to my house on my Huffy Tremor, grabbing a glass of Kool-Aid and some Dunkaroos with my buddy Jeff and belting out Seal's new hit single, "Kiss From a Rose," in celebration. Seriously. I dare you to call me a liar.
So here we are 12 years later. I no longer own a bike, my mom can't send Kool-Aid to my campus mailbox and the Dunkaroo has become endangered after years of senseless poaching (although a few have been spotted at Costco). All this is awful, yes, but what's important is that the Sox are division champs once again. The New York Yankees, still without a World Series title since 2000, have finally relinquished their hold on the division crown.
Across town, the Mets finished up a historic September collapse on Sunday evening, losing to the worst team in their division, the Florida Marlins, 8-1. Veteran starter Tom Glavine got shelled to the tune of seven earned runs in only a third of an inning. Sadly, the Mets will not be joining us in the playoffs.
This is no small deal. In fact, I would argue that we are witnessing a monumental shift in the balance of power within one of the most storied rivalries in sports. This essay aims to explore the implications of this shift in power. More specifically, how it will affect the relationship between Boston and New York in what I consider to be an imminent, Massachucentric epoch, henceforth referred to as the "postmodern."
Sorry about that. What I meant to say was, Boston owns New York right now, and not just in baseball.
Consider basketball. The Celtics look like a top team in the NBA's Eastern Conference this year. Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen and Paul Pierce give them three legit All-Stars, a guaranteed trip to the playoffs and a shot at the conference championship. The Knicks, who have not had a winning season in recent memory, only improved slightly over the off-season - not to mention that their coach, Isiah Thomas, has been spending as much time in court as on the court, owing to a discouraging sexual harassment suit.
On top of that, the New England Patriots are hands down the best team in the National Football League. Heading into their matchup against the Cincinnati Bengals on Monday Night Football, the Pats led the league in yards per game on offense and had allowed the least yards on defense. Quarterback Tom Brady has been hooking up with so many different wide receivers he has been asked to host season two of VH1's "The Pick-Up Artist."
The New York Jets, on the other hand, couldn't handle Buffalo this weekend, falling to the Bills, 17-14, despite the fact that they were facing a rookie quarterback, a rookie running back and a miserably banged-up defense. Had the Jets won, the Bills might have made it to 0-16. The New York Giants, the Big Apple's other mediocre football team, are no better than their 2-2 record suggests. Eli Manning looks like he's improved over last season, but star running back Tiki Barber and injured replacement Brandon Jacobs will be sorely missed.
Unfortunately, there is still one sport in which New York can claim supremacy over Boston. It's just too bad no one watches professional hockey anymore - well, let's not say "no one." ESPN's Barry Melrose clearly still loves hockey. Then again, Melrose also still loves his mullet.
I mean, whatever.
The point is, the New York Rangers actually have a really good shot at the Stanley Cup this season. The Boston Bruins, in contrast, might be the worst team in the NHL. If I were a New York fan, I'd be headed to Providence Place right now to stock up on Rangers apparel. I hear Jaromir Jagr jerseys are so hot right now.
Shane Reil '09 has a Pittsburgh Penguins Jagr jersey, mullet included.
