Looking for the perfect Valentine's Day gift? For a man, sex would be your best bet, says Scott Haltzman '82 MD'85.
"It's not about power," in a relationship, said Haltzman, a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry and human behavior. "It's about trying to figure out what needs your partner has."
Sex is something that will keep men happy, Haltzman wrote in the fifth chapter of his new book, "The Secrets of Happily Married Women: How to Get More Out of Your Relationship by Doing Less," which was released last month.
The crux of Haltzman's book can be gathered from the chapter titles alone: Chapter 1: Know Your Husband, Chapter 2: Nurture His Needs - and Yours, Chapter 4: Talk Less and, of course, Chapter 5: Have Lots of Sex.
"Haltzman gives readers a pragmatic approach to relationships. He's not politically correct and doesn't try to be polite. But his writing is funny, enjoyable and addresses fundamental differences between men and women," said Alan Windsler, Haltzman's editor. Windsler works for Jossey-Bass, a San Francisco-based publisher.
The book is a product of Haltzman's own experience as a married man of 20 years and as a practicing marriage counselor. He cites various studies in the field and includes real stories that married women submitted to his Web site, DrScott.com.
Haltzman said that, in theory, men and women should be capable of doing the same things, but that is usually not the case.
"For women, it's about having a connection with their partner, but men get better results when they approach their relationship as a job," he said.
Haltzman also notes that though verbal communication is "everything for women," men respond better to non-verbal communication.
"When men talk to each other, they don't even need to face each other or make eye contact to get a point across," he said.
Since its release, the book has already earned him attention from multiple radio talk shows, U.S. News & World Report and the New York Times.
But Haltzman said he's anxious about what the female feedback will be like for this book.
"So far, most women (that have read the book) have just been shocked that what I said makes sense," Haltzman said.
Windsler said the publishing company has high hopes for the book.
"Reviews have been good, and it's no secret in the industry that women buy relationship books more than men do," Windsler said.
The book is the second in a three-part series of self-help books for couples. The first, "The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win Your Wife's Heart Forever," was released in 2005 and also earned him media attention.
Haltzman is currently offering a free, autographed copy of his second book to those who fill out a survey on his Web site. Comments shared on the survey will give him feedback for his third book, "Secrets of Happy Families." The third and final book in the series is slated for release sometime next year, Haltzman said.
