Manny Ramirez is, arguably, the best right-handed hitter of our generation, and yes, I am including Alex Rodriguez. But, numbers aside, the best thing about Manny is that you know he is one of the hardest-working players in the game, and yet, he never looks like he isn't enjoying himself out there. As Red Sox fans, we could always put up with his ridiculous behavior because we knew deep down that he was trying.
That is, until we saw him intentionally miss a fly ball, then fall over and roll around on top of it like he was making a snow angel, only to get up laughing after committing four errors on the play earlier this summer. Manny was clearly gearing up for an end-of-season vacation, while the Tampa Bay Rays, of all people, ran away with first place in the AL East. In order to keep going in the season, Manny had to go.
Luckily for Man-Ram, the Los Angeles Dodgers continue their tradition of chasing after former Red Sox players, after the resounding successes of Bill Mueller, Nomar Garciaparra and Grady Little. Red Sox West can now enjoy Manny's antics, along with his .400 plus batting average, eleven homers and two thefts of base - however those happened.
For the Red Sox, of course, there is a major downside. Our cleanup spot has recently been manned by Dustin Pedroia and Kevin Youkilis - our slightly more intimidating versions of Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee. On the plus side, at just over five feet, Pedroia has no other choice but to try his hardest and Youkilis has a big, red beard. Down the stretch, every bit of extra effort and/or facial hair counts ... just ask a Yankees fan. Sure, A-Rod is probably choking on purpose, but I'm positive that by now he will continue to look ridiculous when needed most. Until he can figure it out, the Yanks' hopes, like Derek Jeter before them, ride on Jason Giambi's lucky moustache.
Anyway, I'm perfectly confident in the Sox' post-Manny lineup. Though it is significantly less famous and much more Canadian, it continues to produce. Outfielder Jason Bay in particular has been fantastic since coming over in the trade, batting just over three hundred, slugging four homers and doing it all while looking as excited as a kid in a candy store. (Except it isn't a candy store, it's more like a Bed, Bath and Beyond, and instead of selling furniture, it sells tooth cleanings and fillings. So, essentially, like a kid who is about to go to the dentist.)
Not to be forgotten are the other pieces of this deal. Six-foot, two-hundred-and-five-pound, left-handed reserve outfielder Brandon Moss has been replaced by six-foot, two-hundred-and-four-pound, left-handed reserve outfielder Mark Kotsay - a move which has left the Sox slightly less buoyant, but with harder abs. Kotsay should fill in adequately for the oft-injured and identically proportioned J.D. Drew, who was just beginning to endear himself to Sox fans after replacing fan favorite, six-foot, two-hundred-and-ten-pound, left-handed reserve outfielder Trot Nixon.
All told, it was still very sad to see Manny go. He was one of my favorite players as a kid, and I don't think anyone can ever replace the lighthearted spirit he brings to the game of baseball. But, unlike the Yankees, the Sox plan on making the playoffs this year, and if that means Manny's gotta go, then Manny's gotta go. I mean, it worked out just fine when we lost Nomar.
Shane Reil '09 is a slightly more intimidating version of Pippin Took.
