Overworked. Overwhelmed. Overstimulated. In “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You,” Mary Bronstein pushes them to the extreme.
Bronstein’s new film, “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” is one of the most uncomfortable watches of the year. A feature film-length visualization of a panic attack with one of the strongest leading performances of the decade, the film is a raw and enthralling representation of a mother struggling to get by.
Linda (Rose Byrne) — a mother, therapist and the show's battered protagonist — is plagued by constant barriers and burdens. Her young daughter (Delaney Quinn) has a condition that requires a feeding tube, but Linda cannot help her gain enough weight to have the tube removed. Concurrently, a hole opens up in Linda’s ceiling, flooding her home and forcing her to move herself and her daughter into a motel while her husband (Christian Slater) is away at sea as a ship captain. All the while, Linda blames herself for the troubles in her life, a conviction compounded by the lack of empathy from her daughter’s doctor (Bronstein), her husband and her therapist (Conan O’Brien).
Byrne delivers the performance of the decade in the film. Her portrayal of Linda, drowning in her life’s problems, gasping for air but never able to escape an endless cycle of stress, is captivating. Byrne commands the audience’s focus every time she is on screen, but she makes it apparent that Linda herself is never fully present. Her eyes never stay solely on the person she’s speaking to. Her mind seems to jump constantly from one stressor to the next, never able to stick to one topic. Her voice is tinged with desperation as she tries — and fails — to seek help from others.
In any other year, Byrne would be the clear front-runner for the Academy Award for best actress, but she faces tough competition this Sunday against Jessie Buckley for her poignant portrayal of a grieving mother in Chloé Zhao’s “Hamnet.”
On top of Byrne’s phenomenal acting, the film’s production turns up the tension. Audiences cannot help but feel overwhelmed by the film’s numerous, overlapping sounds: Linda’s daughter screams over the roar of water flooding their house while Linda attempts simultaneously to calm her down over the phone. “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” doesn’t stop with presenting Linda’s anxiety — it forces audiences to feel every ounce of her overstimulating anxiety.
“If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” is chaotic enough to feel, at times, like the tumultuous life of a real person documented with hidden cameras. But the film’s cinematography centers the audience’s focus on Linda in scenes of pandemonium and confusion. Linda’s stressors often live off-screen: Her daughter is rarely seen on camera, and her face is not shown until the ending. Linda’s sense of being, it seems, is trapped in her world of stress and anxiety, unable to exist properly in the present. It is a stellar representation of feeling lost and overpowered by life’s challenges.
Although watching the film may feel a little unpleasant, “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” is a masterful rendition of life’s realities — a film that deserves to be watched once and never again.
Manav is a senior from Indiana, concentrating in International and Public Affairs. In his free time, he likes attempting the daily Connections puzzle or falling down Wikipedia rabbit holes.
