If Phoebe Bridgers is the Twitter music star — outwardly moody and unsatisfied; “ghosting” friends and effusively crying; favoring words over decoration — Lana Del Rey is the alternative darling of Instagram.

On a fateful March day two years ago, Lori Loughlin, Felicity Huffman and a number of other established professionals were implicated in an elaborate college admissions scandal.

Matt James, the first Black man to lead the dating show “The Bachelor,” started the 25th season with a record number of contestant applications and love. The fantasy was cut short, however, when pictures of contestant Rachael Kirkconnell at an “antebellum-themed party” in 2018 surfaced. 

“Inequality. Influence. Fraud. Sabotage. These are the themes of great fiction and our modern economy,” says Amazon, the retail giant currently pressuring employees to go against unionization.

Virginia Woolf wasn’t very online. Neither was Jane Austen, nor Joan Didion. Even Zadie Smith, who started writing after the internet’s inception, has sworn off Twitter.

As if TikTok hadn’t already taken over the world, it has now come to dominate Spotify too. The young faces seen silently “Renegade”-ing and “WAP”-ing have taken their talents to the studio, churning out some of the most popular pop songs of the past few months. 

If you haven’t heard her on the radio or listened to her talk show, you’ve probably seen her picture online, crying, fainting or smirking. Wendy Williams, the radio shock jock turned daytime talk show host turned everlasting meme, reports on celebrities while being one herself.

It feels like there are more movies about New York City than there are inhabitants. It seems there is no subject (save love) that has been discussed in media as much as Manhattan. Still, Martin Scorsese, a native New Yorker and director of many New York films, can’t seem to get enough.

Python. Rum-soaked ham. The ratatouille from Ratatouille. Prison sauce. Bison. “Pizza Crepe Taco Pancake Chili Bag.” Dessert pasta. Julia Child’s beef bourguignon. Acorn cookies. Broiled Cornish game hen sandwich. And, of course, sourdough.

For those who have three backup plans to vote, for those who phonebank every weekend and for those who are tracking Iowan statehouse races, political disengagement is a luxury in which they can’t indulge.