Diamonds and Coal

Diamonds and Coal, Feb. 17

Coal to Vice President for Campus Life and Student Services Margaret Klawunn, who said, “By the time you’re a junior or senior, you don’t mind being in Perkins because you know it’s not that far away.” Similarly, if you had spent two years of your life in a Soviet prison, you would find Graduate Center “not that oppressive.”

 

Cubic zirconia to IvyDate, a new website that characterizes itself as “the Ivy League of dating” and claims to feature an admissions process “similar to how Brown admits its students.” Be careful, though — if you join under the site’s “early decision” option, you could end up committed for life.

 

A diamond to Johnson and Wales University, which announced earlier this week that it will increase its voluntary contributions to $6.4 million over the next decade, with the possibility of providing the city $5 million more in coming years. Don’t tell Mayor Angel Taveras, but the culinary school’s additional contributions will take the form of scones.

 

Coal to Undergraduate Council of Students President Ralanda Nelson ’12, who called the failed constitutional amendment to give the council more control of its own funding an “on the ground, learning ‘oops.’” Sounds like you should have taken it S/NC.  

 

A diamond to Michael Clinton, a senior recruiter for the advertising agency Hill Holiday, who said that Brown students are adept at articulating why their past experiences have prepared them for a career in marketing. Just like POLS 1510: “Great Powers and Empires” has prepared us for a career in world domination.

 

Cubic zirconia to Professor of Orthopaedics Arnold-Peter Weiss, who was arrested in New York last week for possession of a stolen Italian coin called Tetradrachm. Thanks for giving us an original explanation for when our parents ask about our “possession” charges — too bad you had to steal from a debt-ridden European country to do it.

 

A diamond to CareerLAB’s Job and Internship Board, whose four-day outage reminded us there are worse things than Banner being inaccessible for 45 minutes.

 

Coal to one of the organizers of female comedy group the RIB for saying, “I’m happy that we’re able to create stuff that entertains even old men.” In that case, we won’t be surprised if the next time we hear about you is when Bill O’Reilly does his next segment about Brown.

 

A diamond to students who long for more from their concentration advisers. As Associate Dean of the College for Research Besenia Rodriguez said, “Concentration advisers can come and go.” Here’s something that will last forever.