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Diamonds and Coal

Diamonds and Coal, Oct. 15

Friday, October 15, 2010

An eager diamond to the BDS administrator who said students will “just jump on board with anything.” What did you have in mind?


A sarcastic diamond to the Department of Public Safety for their numerous on-campus marijuana discoveries. Not quite a needle in the haystack (or the arm), but at Brown we’re all about credit for trying.


A diamond to the Career Development Center’s optimistically named “Coffee and Careers” series. We expect that we’ll be unemployed and hanging out at coffee shops next year, but are delighted to know you think we can have it all.


Coal to Moderate Party gubernatorial candidate Ken Block, who attempted to insult one of his opponents when he told The Herald, “I am not running based on the stature and last name of my family.” Last time we checked it was called Block Island, not Chafee Island.


A cubic zirconium to Republican gubernatorial candidate John Robitaille, who said he considers himself a Tea Party candidate despite being told they “don’t have membership cards.” Well, that puts your movement just one step behind Costco.


Coal to Democratic candidate Frank Caprio who suggested he was just a few years out of college himself. Harvard doesn’t count.


And a diamond to independent candidate Lincoln Chafee ’75 P’14. Go Bruno! Since you’re a Brown alum, we can’t give you anything but a satisfactory anyway.


Coal to the student “escorted back into the liquor store” to return the whiskey he had just purchased. When we warned you about walks of shame, we were not envisioning a trip down the Walk to Spiritus with DPS.


A diamond to the Haffenreffer Museum for indulging our overactive imaginations. It’s nice that you’re “reimagining Columbus,” but we thought it was Fall Day now — or at least that’s what Fox News seems to be yelling.  


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