University News

The Herald unveils 124th Editorial Board

Following the 123rd Board’s announcement, the new leaders introduced their team

By
Lady of the Night
Monday, November 25, 2013

The 124th Editorial Board: Eli Okun ’15, Adam Toobin ’15, Maddie Berg ’15, Sona Mkrttchian ’15, Kate Nussenbaum ’15 and Mathias Heller ’15.

Against all odds and after much struggle, The Brown Daily Herald’s  staff successfully infiltrated a heavily guarded CAV restaurant Friday night for an evening of high-class cheese and cracker consumption. The event also featured a vital announcement made by the members of the 123rd Editorial Board: the identities of their illustrious successors, who will officially take the helm Jan. 1.

University News Editor Eli Okun ’15, who will serve as editor-in-chief and president of The Brown Daily Herald, Inc., hails from Rockville, Md., and plans to produce a special first issue of The Herald focusing exclusively on the business transactions, court dealings and art preferences of Corporation Trustee Steven A. Cohen P’08 P’16. Okun has been known to spend many an evening crying over reruns of “Friday Night Lights,” and he may or may not complete his year on the editorial board, depending on whether he hears back about the video audition he submitted to be on “Survivor.”

Adam Toobin ’15, of New York City, will bring his experience as a City & State Editor back up College Hill to serve as managing editor and vice president. As his first act, Toobin will return vending machines to 195 Angell St. and use the subsequent influx of Diet Coke and processed foods to fuel intense, hours-long policy debates and, occasionally, help put out the newspaper. Known for arriving to the newsroom caked in mud, Toobin will expect his staffers to similarly sacrifice anything — including cleanliness — for the sake of a good story.

University News Editor Mathias Heller ’15, of Alexandria, Va., is widely known in the Washington, D.C., area for both his encyclopedic knowledge of past and present American political leaders and his tear-inducing dance moves. As managing editor, he will spearhead the effort to supplant frozen yogurt with Ben & Jerry’s ice cream as The Herald’s late night dessert of choice — and will stand for justice when staff members receive less than their scoop-worth.

Sona Mkrttchian ’15, who hails from Egg Harbor Township, N.J., will reluctantly release her hold on the City & State section after four semesters to take the position of managing editor. After years of covering Providence’s pension crisis and the antics of former Red Sox player Curt Schilling, Mkrttchian sees the move to University News as an opportunity to report on a more fiscally sound entity. Mkrttchian, despite popular belief, is not Russian, and she will seize this opportunity to build a fort in her corner of the office where she does not have to interact with humans and can instead watch videos of babies.

Arts & Culture Editor Maddie Berg ’15, of Westchester County, N.Y., will serve as a senior editor. Berg, who began her career with an in-depth investigation of spoiled products sold at Brown eateries, has pledged to fight to replace all Brown Dining Services food with granola bars. As a senior editor, Berg plans to remodel The Herald’s office to include space for both her fabulous wardrobe and the men’s crew team.

Hailing from Newton, Mass., Kate Nussenbaum ’15 will also serve as a senior editor, mainly so that she can spend her Thursday nights writing The Herald’s weekly Diamonds & Coal column. Nussenbaum, currently a Science & Research editor, often travels to New Haven, Conn., where she donates her time offering wisdom and counsel to lesser campus publications. Nussenbaum will dedicate her tenure to installing Justin Bieber’s “Baby” as The Herald’s official theme song.

The 124th board will be supported by a strong slew of section editors and editorial leaders.

Kiki Barnes ’16, Michael Dubin ’16, Maxine Joselow ’16 and Tonya Riley ’15 will plug into the campus gossip as the University News Editor team. The formidable Barnes, of Manhasset, N.Y., has pledged to pass on the dogged reporting skills she’s developed, which have been known to cause professors to flee at the sight of her. Dubin, of New York City, will divide his time between analyzing the policies coming out of University Hall, pontificating about the various quality levels of AMC dramas and doing his best Ottolenghi impression. Joselow, of Manchester, N.H., cried a little when notified she could no longer lead The Herald’s investigations into the goings on of the Undergraduate Council of Students, but has since accepted her editorial destiny. Riley, originally from Union Bridge, Md., and currently studying in Russia, rejected an offer from Vladimir Putin to lead the country’s public relations efforts in order to take her rightful place with The Herald’s news desk.

As the new City & State editors, Kate “Not Katherine” Kiernan ’16 and Katie “Kajillion” Rose Lamb ’16 will look to return the section to its former glory as the newsroom’s baking leadership after a lackluster year from its current editors. Kiernan, of Washington, D.C., will bring her experience covering the changing Thayer Street landscape and the University’s finances, as well as her love of policy, to her new role. Lamb, of Portland, Ore., is rumored to be on Gov. Lincoln Chafee’s ’75 P’14 P’17 speed dial after one semester on the City & State beat and looks to dive deeper into state and local politics next year.

In an upset selection, Katie Cusumano ’15 and Andrew Smyth ’16 were named The Herald’s new Arts & Culture editors. Cusumano, hailing from Hamilton, Bermuda, New York City and, most recently, Paris, will grace The Herald with her return to the States to serve as a croissant tester and style editor. She plans to investigate the dearth of boulangeries in Providence. Smyth, of New Fairfield, Conn., will use his expert knowledge of Beyonce’s discography to inform The Herald’s music coverage. His first act as an editor will be to buy the office a stack of dictionaries so other staffers can get on his level, and he has sworn not to leave his post before getting a Q&A (and another hug) from Oprah.

The Features section will be led by the demure and understated duo of Sabrina Imbler ’16 and Maggie Livingstone ’16, of Hillsborough, Calif., and Pelham Manor, N.Y., respectively. The two plan to quietly draw on Imbler’s improv experience and Livingstone’s expertise in video production to produce a series of ironic comedy shorts, which they will play on loop in The Herald’s office. While the pair pursues this project, Imbler’s cat, Boots, will assume the post of assistant features editor.

Isobel Heck ’16 and Sarah Perelman ’15 will pair up to research the effect of extreme niceness on the Science & Research section. Heck, of Boston, Mass., will draw inspiration from the Red Sox to redesign The Herald’s official kickball uniform. Perelman, of Cheltenham, Penn., will offer to resuscitate any members of The Herald shocked into a stupor by the glory of her gluten-free baked goods.

Now stepping up to the Sports editor plate, Caleb Miller ’16 and Dante O’Connell ’16 spent this semester enwrapped in the world of Brown football. Miller, of Vermillion, S.D., is best known for his burgeoning political career, as well as his tendency to arrive fashionably late. O’Connell, who hails from Uniontown, Penn., both writes and speaks with majestic flair. The two were recently spotted studying the art of mustachioed editing, under the mentorship of their predecessors, over milkshakes at Spats Restaurant & Pub.

Features Editor Elizabeth Koh ’15, of La Mirada, Calif., will head The Herald’s new Enterprise project. As she pioneers the position, Koh intends to “explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before” — with more style and grace than Kirk and Spock.

Returning from their sojourns abroad, Brisa Bodell ’15 and Einat Brenner ’15 will sassily reclaim leadership over The Herald’s aesthetic as design editors. Joined by Assistant Design Editors Carlie Peters ’16, Taylor Schwartz ’16 and Sean Simonson ’16, they will resume their long-standing battles over printing finals first, winning the title of “Best Office DJ” and composing the most heavily hashtagged tweets.

The quintessential quartet of Andersen Chen ’14, Avery Crits-Cristoph ’16, Greg Jordan-Detamore ’14 and Jillian Lanney ’16 will serve as graphics editors. Chen, of Brookline, Mass., is famous for introducing data science to The Herald’s repertoire and will grace the newspaper with his steely cool presence for one final semester before dissolving in a pool of tears at the prospect of departing. Crits-Cristoph, of Rosemont, Penn., comes to the graphics team from the design desk, where she once made Herald history by printing all the finals before 10:30 p.m. Jordan-Detamore, a Philadelphia native concentrating in geological sciences and urban studies, looks forward to a final semester of making maps, measuring picas and telling everyone in the newsroom not to “cry-cry.” Lanney, who hails from Concord, N.H., plans to split her time between directing The Herald’s graphics content and serving as New Hampshire Gov. Maggie Hassan’s ’80 P’15 right-hand woman.

Angelia Wang ’15 will continue as illustrations editor next semester. Wang intends to draw on her love of Cyanide and Happiness to introduce a webcomic-inspired aesthetic to The Herald’s cartoons and will institute mandatory ballroom dance classes for all cartoonists and comic writers.

Brittany Comunale ’16, David Deckey ’15, Emily Gilbert ’14 and Sam Kase ’15 will stay on next semester as photo editors. Comunale harbors a deep love of maps and is known for venturing to the depths of campus for photos of lecturers, snow fights and babies. Deckey, who has been likened to a modern-day Ansel Adams, will spearhead a campaign to caption all of The Herald’s photography in Spanish. Between writing pages of her thesis, Gilbert will occasionally crawl out of the stacks of the Sciences Library to snap photos for sports games and breaking news. When he is not taking photos, Kase intends to draw on his experiences in Class Coordinating Board to sponsor office-wide heavy petting.

Claire Postman ’15 will return from a semester in South Africa, Vietnam and India to serve as copy desk chief. She hates Oxford commas. Postman will be joined by current copy desk chief Sara Palasits ’15, who will serve as assistant.

Rachel Occhiogrosso ’14 of Armonk, N.Y., will continue as editorial page editor, joined by Matt Brundage ’15 of Montclair, Va. Occhiogrosso loves universities, colleges and university-colleges and plans to write a series of editorials consisting entirely of quotes from “The West Wing.” Brundage, who spent this semester studying in New Delhi, India, intends to replace The Herald’s semesterly kickball showdown against the College Hill Independent with cricket matches and tea.

Joe Stein ’16, of Woodbridge, Conn., will stay on as web producer. Stein, who plans to use his technological prowess to help The Herald conquer the Internet, still maintains that the cake is a lie.

The Herald also proudly announces its newest staff writers so far this semester: Hannah Camhi ’16, Cormac Cummiskey ’17, Andrew Flax ’17, Adam Hoffman ’14, Emma Jerzyk ’17, Christine Rush ’15, Khin Su ’16, Marcus Sudac ’17, Alex Wainger ’16, Drew Williams ’17 and Joseph Zappa ’17.

Ben Resnik ’15 will remain in place as Post- magazine’s editor-in-chief. A master of TweetDeck and a fan of filibustering, Resnik intends to boost the magazine’s rate of fried Oreo consumption by a factor of 10.

Will Janover ’15, of New York City, will return from Argentina to assume the role of BlogDailyHerald’s editor-in-chief. Janover, known for his prowess in crafting Blog polls and covering Main Green protests, hopes the people of Argentina don’t cry for him upon his departure.

David Oyer ’16, of Palo Alto, Calif., allegedly turned down an offer to manage the Oakland A’s to be managing editor of BlogDailyHerald. In order to secure the position, he rescinded his comments on the Nora Ephron classic, “When Harry Met Sally” and acknowledged that it is, in fact, one of the greatest movies of all time.

Georgia Tollin ’15, of Los Angeles, Calif., will return from her European adventures to be managing editor of BlogDailyHerald. A culinary savant, Tollin will sniff out the scoop on the latest Providence eateries and on-campus offerings.

On the business side, Nicole Shimer ’16, of Chappaqua, N.Y., will serve as general manager and treasurer. Shimer, known for her cheerful demeanor and glowing tresses, intends to prove to The Herald that gingers do in fact have souls. She plans to introduce mandatory bubble wrap-popping sessions at the weekly business staff meetings.

Jen Aitken ’15, of Manhasset, N.Y., will serve as general manager and secretary. Aitken was promoted almost purely because of her prowess at kickball, which helped The Herald clinch another victory over the College Hill Independent this semester.

Alison Pruzan ’15 will assume the post of Alumni Relations Director. Sarah Levine ’16 and Sameer Sarkar ’16 will jointly serve as Finance Directors, and Winnie Shao ’16 will serve as Sales Director. Melody Cao ’16 will spearhead new business ventures as Business Development Director.

  • John Doe

    Whole lotta white bread, not much diversity.

    • Double Standard

      Well I completely disagree with your opinion, but I cannot help and recognize the irony in that the BDH is ALWAYS on the side of quota, diversity and affirmative action but when it comes to its own board, no such thing applies.

      • Sharkisha

        Guilty crackers tossing some scraps to keep the coloreds quiet. But when it is time to crack the whip, we see who’s hand is holding it.

        They give us quota because they think we can not compete on our own, they think we are not good enough, they give us diversity because they think we need their help they give us affirmative action, because of their soft bigotry of low expectations for us.

        What they don’t give us is the power of the whip. Crackers keep that for themselves.

        • EndBrainwashing@Brown

          TWTP much?

        • Expecting a Silver Platter?

          People of any color with power will always elect to maintain their power. The ridiculousness of the “social justice” contingent is not that their ideas or arguments are without merit or justificiation, it is that they expect the solution to be handed to them without ever having developed any sort of real leverage.

    • PCU

      ” And the walls are painted white. And the chalk is white. And even the copy machine paper is white. This, my friend, is a white devil’s conspiracy.”

  • student

    nauseating!

  • Buttz Henderson

    **wipes come from face** wow you guys really know how to get yrselves off

    • Buttz

      seriously i am gagging

  • mxm123

    Is this the New York Social Review Editorial Board ?

  • eek

    super embarrassing for everyone involved

  • Sharkisha

    This board needs to step down and Persons of Color need to be installed. A Womyn of Color as Editor in Chief would be best. The patriarchy of whitebread racism is intolerable and the blood of our ancestors cries out for justice. None of the current editorial board knows what it is like to be a slave in modern america, how can they bring any experience to the seat like a person of color?

    • tired alum

      maybe if POCs and self described womyn joined the BDH instead of starting pointless and misguided protests and joining club upon club about their oppressed status, you would have more diverse boards.

      It baffles me that students complaining about representation never take the steps themselves to get through the door. They take one africana class and learn how to get pissed but don’t pursue STEM fields or join things like the BDH.

      What, do you want people that put in the time to just hand things to you and others that didn’t? Based on the criteria that these people that didn’t put in the time look and think like you? Because of your status you don’t have to earn things? Isn’t that an argument for a new kind of privilege? Seriously, nut up or shut up.

      • Student

        I agree with you, but the first comment is clearly satire.

        • tired alum

          the line is so blurred it hardly looked like satire.

          • Johnny

            Google Sharkisha, it’s a black girl who beat up another black girl and the video became a meme of some sort. I read the “satirical” comment slightly differently after noticing the poster’s username.

        • Sharkisha

          Satire? You think the pain of millions is satire, fodder for your amusement as you sit back in your cracker white privileged chair discussing how I ought to ‘earn’ something that ought to be my birthright? I earned it with my fingers that were shredded by cotton husks, by my back that was torn by your cracker whip, by my strong legs that never broke under your relentless assault. I deserve it all, I built it all, it is my turn now. I will take it all.

          • Get Over Yourself

            Highly unlikely you ever shredded your fingers in any field.

            And why do you assume commenters are white or even from the US? I think you’re the one saddled by your own racism

  • John Doe

    And now the editors are scrubbing this from the links sections, racism and a little thought oppression? What happened to a free and open exchange of ideas? Isn’t that what a university is about?

    • name withheld for job security

      Sure, just ask Ray Kelly.

  • Incredulous

    So let me get this straight- because of the color of their skin, how much money their parents make, and where their parents decided to live they are unqualified to run the school paper?

    • student

      they are unqualified to run the school paper because they are lame

  • Grazibel

    OK. Stop complaining about the editor’s race, people. Sometimes you just need to give promotions to people who are the most deserving, whatever their skin color. Race doesn’t inherently add value or devalue a person. I know race isn’t a neutral factor today in anything, but it should be. Work, personality, these are what matter. I always remember MLK:

    “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character”

    Don’t hate just because of “the color of their [the editor’s] skin” when you know nothing of the “content of their character.” Deserving people are deserving people, whether they are black, white, green, lean or in between.

    I know one of the newly elected editors, and she is incredibly hard working and passionate about the Herald. It wouldn’t surprise me at all that she was deserving of this promotion.